Articles on male development, relationships, systems thinking and personal growth.https://dmitriyostapenko.com/enhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/back-to-text-blog/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/back-to-text-blog/A life update: why I took an 8-month break, how I dived into AI, which four life areas are in focus, and what's next.Thu, 16 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/december-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/december-results-2025/This post will be different from all others in this series. I've significantly rethought my approach to life and work.Wed, 07 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/november-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/november-results-2025/Best book of the month — Simon Sinek's The Infinite Game. Main insight — the more time I spend alone at home, the lower my emotional state.Tue, 02 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/living-the-same-year-over/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/living-the-same-year-over/We set long-term goals for 5 or 10 years ahead, but in reality we often just live the same single year ten times in a row. Why this happens — and what to do about it.Sat, 29 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everything-accumulates/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everything-accumulates/Good decisions gradually make life better — bad ones gradually ruin it. Both add up over years and one day become our reality.Thu, 27 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-i-teach/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-i-teach/At 31 I decided to bet on the work I loved and focus only on my online school. It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.Tue, 25 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/speed-is-the-key/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/speed-is-the-key/While one person thinks and plans, another has already tried 5 approaches, found what works and moved to the next level. In every area of life, speed matters most.Mon, 24 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/october-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/october-results-2025/Monthly recap: best book, films, most useful video, skill of the month, a tested hypothesis, a habit and the main insight. October 2025.Sat, 01 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-give-meaning-ourselves/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-give-meaning-ourselves/Our resentment and unforgiveness only hurt us. We are the ones who give life's events too much meaning — and we're the ones who can stop.Sat, 25 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ei-helps-process-negativity/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ei-helps-process-negativity/When we swallow negative emotions instead of letting them out properly, a 'graveyard of unprocessed emotions' forms inside us and slowly poisons our life.Mon, 20 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-live-what-we-focus-on/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-live-what-we-focus-on/We don't live the life we want. We live the life we're focused on — and attention is something you can train.Sat, 18 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/return-emotion-to-its-source/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/return-emotion-to-its-source/The most effective psychological rule: send the emotion back to where it came from. Every negative emotion has a source — and an addressee.Wed, 15 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/september-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/september-results-2025/Monthly recap: best book, films, most useful video, skill of the month, a tested hypothesis, a habit and the main insight. September 2025.Sat, 04 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/compounding-effect/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/compounding-effect/How much can you actually change your life in 12 months? A question I kept asking myself before starting my habit-change challenge.Thu, 25 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/11-habits-im-working-on/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/11-habits-im-working-on/10 days ago I started a new habit-change challenge. Sharing my tracker and all 11 habits I'm currently working on.Wed, 24 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/nastya-and-i-started-watching-movies-in-english/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/nastya-and-i-started-watching-movies-in-english/There's a very effective way to improve your English — watch movies you already know well in the language you want to learn.Sun, 21 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/day-5-of-my-new-routine/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/day-5-of-my-new-routine/Do you ever have moments when you're unhappy with yourself? Here's what had been piling up, and what I decided to change starting September 15th.Fri, 19 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/product-quality-determines-your-income/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/product-quality-determines-your-income/You're not making as much money as you want because your product (or service) isn't as good as you think it is.Thu, 18 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-year-without-social-media/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-year-without-social-media/How did my first year without short-form content on social media go? Here's what changed in my focus, motivation, and how my school runs.Tue, 16 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/august-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/august-results-2025/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis I tested, and the month's key insight. August 2025.Thu, 04 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/july-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/july-results-2025/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis I tested, a habit, and the month's key insight. July 2025.Fri, 01 Aug 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fewer-products-not-more/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fewer-products-not-more/To grow your income, you need to focus on fewer products, not more. How narrowing down to one niche broke through my financial ceiling.Thu, 24 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/add-a-zero/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/add-a-zero/A simple exercise that can help grow your income: add a zero to your current income and write out, in detail, where that money would go.Wed, 23 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/playing-defense-or-offense/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/playing-defense-or-offense/A subtle psychological reason behind low income: playing defense. Most people are wired to protect their current standard of living, not grow it.Mon, 21 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/4-types-of-exchange/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/4-types-of-exchange/There are 4 types of exchange between people: theft, an unequal trade, an equal trade, and an exchange that overdelivers. Only the last two build a queue of customers.Sat, 19 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/do-less-to-earn-more/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/do-less-to-earn-more/While you're spread across a dozen directions, each one gives you an average result. Real income growth starts with focus on a single key competency.Fri, 18 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/can-you-keep-love-without-money/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/can-you-keep-love-without-money/I've seen dozens of couples split up not because of cheating or different values, but because of constant financial stress.Thu, 17 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-increase-your-income/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-increase-your-income/We earn exactly as much money as we're useful to other people. The key to growing your income is deep, systematic work on yourself.Tue, 15 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/happy-relationships-are-expensive/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/happy-relationships-are-expensive/If a man doesn't grow in his career or business, he creates conditions where his wife is forced to share the stressful burden of providing for the family.Mon, 14 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/needs-feelings-actions/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/needs-feelings-actions/Picture your inner world as a 3-story house: needs, feelings, and actions. Behavior reveals feelings, and feelings reveal which needs went unmet.Fri, 04 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2-ways-to-react-to-your-partners-words/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2-ways-to-react-to-your-partners-words/Sharpen the edge, or smooth it over? Which one you choose decides whether an ordinary conversation turns into a fight — or into the two of you against a problem.Thu, 03 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/may-june-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/may-june-results-2025/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis, a habit, and the month's key insight. May-June 2025.Tue, 01 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/psychological-levers-not-technical/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/psychological-levers-not-technical/I used to think the reason I didn't blog was a lack of time, money, or equipment. The real reason is always psychological: I was scared.Sun, 15 Jun 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-100-dollar-post/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-100-dollar-post/Social media can pay out far more than $100 per post — that money just doesn't arrive right away. This is the compounding effect at work.Sat, 14 Jun 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-people-burn-out/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-people-burn-out/Word of mouth is a set of shackles for a great specialist. You can break the cycle through the right approach to content and building a team.Fri, 13 Jun 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-build-a-customer-queue/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-build-a-customer-queue/If you learn to create content people actually find interesting, social media will find the audience for it — whether you're a freelancer, artist, or engineer.Thu, 12 Jun 2025 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/work-you-dont-love-for-little-money/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/work-you-dont-love-for-little-money/A lot of people sense real potential inside themselves, but spend years doing work they don't love for little money, while social media stays undeveloped.Wed, 11 Jun 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-was-an-invisible-expert/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-was-an-invisible-expert/For over 10 years I worked on my projects and built my skills, but stayed in the shadows. Getting the word out matters more than almost anything else.Tue, 10 Jun 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/april-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/april-results-2025/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis, a habit, and the month's key insight. April 2025.Thu, 01 May 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/march-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/march-results-2025/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis, a habit, and the month's key insight. March 2025.Fri, 04 Apr 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/february-results-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/february-results-2025/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis, a habit, and the month's key insight. February 2025.Mon, 03 Mar 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-areas-of-my-virtual-character/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-areas-of-my-virtual-character/Starting an experiment: publicly tracking my progress in 3 areas — habits, skills, character — and sharing what's working and what isn't.Fri, 24 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-significantly-improve-your-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-significantly-improve-your-life/Wanting things and setting goals for yourself is an absolute game changer. Nobody else is going to want things or strive for anything on your behalf.Thu, 23 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2-most-important-things-in-achieving-goals/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2-most-important-things-in-achieving-goals/Motivation and a system for monitoring progress matter equally. Remove either one, and you'll spin your wheels in place.Wed, 22 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-goals-did-i-set-at-18/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-goals-did-i-set-at-18/My own business, a car, a video studio, a personal growth school, a family, a wide audience online — every one of these goals is now fully realized.Tue, 21 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/achieving-goals-1/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/achieving-goals-1/Why do we fail the goals we set in January? New goals get realized when a person learns to build new systems and rules, not just write things down.Sat, 11 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-main-credo-for-2025/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-main-credo-for-2025/Every year I pick one main focus for the next 12 months. In 2025, that main process will be digitizing all of my work and my life.Thu, 09 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/character-development/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/character-development/Life is a lot like an RPG, except the main character is you. The more useful skills and traits you develop, the higher a level of life you reach.Sat, 04 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2025-vision-character-announcement/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2025-vision-character-announcement/For the first time, I've decided to publicly show how I move toward my goals, what challenges I face, and what lessons I take away. Meet my virtual public character.Fri, 03 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/december-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/december-2024-results/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis, a habit, and the month's key insight. December 2024.Wed, 01 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/year-results-minus/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/year-results-minus/Never fixed my sleep schedule, never found a full-stack developer, never improved my English. A look at the goals I failed to hit in 2024.Tue, 31 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/year-results-plus/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/year-results-plus/365 straight days of posting, a new studio, quitting short-form content, switching churches. What worked out for me in 2024.Mon, 30 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/radio-m/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/radio-m/It's thanks to the Radio M team that I started actively blogging 3 years ago — they gave me a studio where we recorded our first podcasts.Wed, 11 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-months-without-social-media/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-months-without-social-media/In 90 days without short-form video, I got more done for my productivity and business than probably the whole previous year. Money is made with your head, not your hands.Fri, 06 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/november-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/november-2024-results/Monthly roundup: best book, movies, most useful video, the skill I worked on, a habit, a hypothesis, and the month's key insight. November 2024.Sun, 01 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/context-of-my-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/context-of-my-life/What does my life actually look like right now? No particular insight or attempt to be useful here — just what's going on at the moment.Tue, 26 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/challenge-finale/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/challenge-finale/365 days of writing in my blog every day. Today is the finale of this public literary marathon.Mon, 18 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-i-learned-in-a-year-of-the-challenge/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-i-learned-in-a-year-of-the-challenge/"Not a day without a line," leaving unfinished notes for tomorrow, "bird by bird" — 3 ideas that became the foundation of my year-long writing marathon.Sun, 17 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-first-year-is-ending/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-first-year-is-ending/I've decided to stop writing in the blog every day. The rhythm of daily posts affects quality either way — and I want to change that for the sake of my books.Sat, 16 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/starting-to-work-with-youtube/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/starting-to-work-with-youtube/Knowledge we don't use turns into 'intellectual fat.' Real power is putting what you've learned into practice.Fri, 15 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-project-or-several/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-project-or-several/What's right is whatever actually fits you. One person burns out from a lack of focus, while another feels miserable on one project but thrives juggling three.Thu, 14 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/face-a-problem-create-a-rule/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/face-a-problem-create-a-rule/I heard this principle a few years ago, and it has been a huge help in organising my life and my business.Wed, 13 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/thinking-place/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/thinking-place/A simple technique that can push you to a new level. It's called a Thinking Place.Tue, 12 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-attitude-to-holidays/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-attitude-to-holidays/How do childhood trauma and experience shape our relationships? Let me tell you my own story.Mon, 11 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/delayed-life-syndrome/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/delayed-life-syndrome/Do you put off living and enjoying things until later? I recently caught myself with a mild form of delayed life syndrome.Sat, 09 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-i-learned-in-therapy/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-i-learned-in-therapy/I see a Gestalt therapist once a week. Through that work it became obvious that my emotional side lags far behind my intellectual one.Fri, 08 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-longer-we-tolerate-what-we-dislike/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-longer-we-tolerate-what-we-dislike/For over a year our front door annoyed me. I kept postponing the swap, dreading a messy job — it took two hours. On the cost of delay.Thu, 07 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/acting-by-your-inner-standard/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/acting-by-your-inner-standard/Happiness is having nothing to hide. The more often we act in line with our values, the happier our life turns out to be.Wed, 06 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/350-days-of-daily-posting/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/350-days-of-daily-posting/One of the longest marathons of my life. A year ago I thought I'd last a couple of months. It turns out topics and ideas never run out.Tue, 05 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-months-without-social-media/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-months-without-social-media/What two months without short-form content did to me: a surge of energy, sharper memory, new taste for ordinary things, and the book I'd postponed since 2019.Mon, 04 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-sleep-with-the-body-live-with-the-soul/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-sleep-with-the-body-live-with-the-soul/In family life, what matters most is character, habits, inner values and worldview. Appearance plays a part, but not the deciding one.Sat, 02 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-woman-is-fertile-ground/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-woman-is-fertile-ground/When a woman receives plenty of attention, affection and warmth from the man she loves, she gives all those same beautiful things back to him.Fri, 01 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/october-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/october-2024-results/My monthly round-up: best book, films, most useful video, skill of the month, habit, hypothesis and the main insight. October 2024.Thu, 31 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/declutter-your-space-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/declutter-your-space-every-day/On day one you get rid of 1 unnecessary thing, on day two 2, then 3, all the way to day 30. Over a month that clears out 465 surplus items.Wed, 30 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fear-is-a-bad-management-tool/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fear-is-a-bad-management-tool/"Do it this way or I'll fire you" is a very strange kind of motivation — it only works on someone who has nowhere else to go.Tue, 29 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/turn-your-car-into-a-university/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/turn-your-car-into-a-university/Instead of radio or music in the car, you can play useful videos and podcasts. Stuck in traffic for 40 minutes? That's a full lesson on a topic you need.Mon, 28 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/learning-from-others-experience/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/learning-from-others-experience/A scientist can spend 40 years researching a question; we read the essence of it in a month for $5–15. So why do so few people use this?Sun, 27 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-i-do-teaching-work/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-i-do-teaching-work/You can earn decent money in plenty of fields, but not everywhere gives you a deep sense of meaning in what you actually do.Sat, 26 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/your-habits-are-your-future/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/your-habits-are-your-future/Over a single day, a choice changes almost nothing. Over ten years, every small daily choice turns into an avalanche.Fri, 25 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/manage-your-problems-or-they-manage-you/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/manage-your-problems-or-they-manage-you/When a problem finally catches up with you, it's angrier and bigger than it was at the first encounter. Yet most people wait until it has them by the throat.Thu, 24 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-build-new-habits/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-build-new-habits/New habits should be introduced gradually, not five at once. Taken one at a time, they take root far more easily and far faster.Wed, 23 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/four-levels-of-attention/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/four-levels-of-attention/The more time you spend on trivia and routine, the faster you burn out. Routine work sustains your current standard of living — and nothing beyond it.Tue, 22 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/our-life-is-made-of-systems/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/our-life-is-made-of-systems/I spend 15 to 25 minutes a day on the blog, and it provides everything I need to keep growing. It all comes down to the system behind it.Mon, 21 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everyone-has-24-hours/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everyone-has-24-hours/Time is a currency we all hold in equal amounts, but we spend it very differently. It turns out not all hours carry the same weight.Sat, 19 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/books-that-can-change-your-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/books-that-can-change-your-relationship/People kept asking me for a list of books about relationships between men and women. Here are the five I find most useful for family life.Fri, 18 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/most-people-dont-plan-their-lives/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/most-people-dont-plan-their-lives/Either you plan ahead and shape the conditions, or you just react to whatever problems land on you. There is no third option.Thu, 17 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-reach-a-new-level-faster/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-reach-a-new-level-faster/Before any big decision, find someone who has already walked that road. One conversation can save you years, money and nerves.Wed, 16 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/order-in-your-head-leads-to-order-in-your-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/order-in-your-head-leads-to-order-in-your-life/The outer world is just a printout of the inner one. Chaos around you starts as chaos in your thinking — and that's where you clear it up.Tue, 15 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/100-000-followers-on-instagram/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/100-000-followers-on-instagram/People with a big audience aren't special. They just do, with discipline, what everyone else isn't willing to do.Sun, 13 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/high-income-doesnt-mean-good-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/high-income-doesnt-mean-good-life/Learning to earn and learning to live well are two different skills. Plenty of people master the first one and completely ignore the second.Sat, 12 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/growth-guarantees-loneliness/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/growth-guarantees-loneliness/When a person really starts growing, their old circle quietly disappears. Not because they became better — you simply became different.Fri, 11 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/325-days-writing-blog/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/325-days-writing-blog/The idea of writing every day for a whole year used to feel heavy. Now it's 5-10 minutes and one or two thoughts put into words.Wed, 09 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/each-of-us-can-change-our-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/each-of-us-can-change-our-life/"You are not a plant. You can completely rebuild any area of your life." A thought I remind myself of every time I hit resistance.Tue, 08 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/filming-at-1-1-studio/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/filming-at-1-1-studio/I was invited to film the show "Hovoryt vsia kraina" as an expert. We talked about different models of the family budget.Mon, 07 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-get-unstuck/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-get-unstuck/The right conditions may never arrive. Why you should start where you are, and what happens after the first few clumsy steps.Sun, 06 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-develop-decisiveness/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-develop-decisiveness/The worst thing at a crossroads is to stand still. How I make decisions on paper, and why a wrong turn beats indecision.Sat, 05 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-relationships-fall-apart/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-relationships-fall-apart/Dismissing your partner's words and needs produces no instant damage. It piles up for years — until it detonates as a divorce.Fri, 04 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-month-without-social-media/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-month-without-social-media/The most productive experiment of my life: what happened to my head, my energy and my backlog after 30 days with no feed and no stories.Thu, 03 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/september-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/september-2024-results/A month that started with a video about the dopamine pit and ended with my productivity up two to three times. Book, films, skill, hypothesis, habit and the main insight.Wed, 02 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/surprise-party-for-nastya/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/surprise-party-for-nastya/Three weeks of planning, an event organizer, a host, an artist — and the look on my wife's face that made all of it worth it. Why I wish I had done this years ago.Tue, 01 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/nastyas-29th-birthday/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/nastyas-29th-birthday/Before I met Nastya I didn't believe feelings could grow stronger with the years. A personal birthday letter to my wife — and an admission about which of us got luckier.Mon, 30 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/31-teeth-dont-hurt-but-we-focus-on-one/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/31-teeth-dont-hurt-but-we-focus-on-one/When one tooth aches, it's impossible to enjoy the other thirty-one. Life works the same way: problems never stop coming — the question is whether you let them own your attention.Sat, 28 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-love-respect-and-value-myself/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-love-respect-and-value-myself/Why do you expect respect from your partner if you don't respect yourself? The question I ask couples in sessions — and what your calendar has to do with the answer.Sat, 28 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/can-you-forgive-cheating/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/can-you-forgive-cheating/Whether to forgive is each person's own call, and I'd be slow to judge anyone who stays. But there's one mistake that makes the choice meaningless: staying without trusting.Fri, 27 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/man-works-hard-and-loses-his-family/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/man-works-hard-and-loses-his-family/He doesn't drink, doesn't cheat, works hard for the family — and his wife leaves anyway. Here's what men like this miss until it's too late.Thu, 26 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/four-hours-for-fights-but-no-30-minutes/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/four-hours-for-fights-but-no-30-minutes/There's always time for shouting, never time for a calm conversation. A simple recipe for a happy relationship that almost nobody chooses.Wed, 25 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-silent-treatment-after-a-fight/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-silent-treatment-after-a-fight/"Who can stay quiet longer?" is a strange game where both people lose. Why the first one to apologize isn't the guilty one, but the wiser one.Tue, 24 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/there-are-two-types-of-men/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/there-are-two-types-of-men/Two or three percent of men have accepted how completely they depend on the woman they love. The other 97% find out the day they hear "I'm leaving you."Mon, 23 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-best-gift-you-can-give-people/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-best-gift-you-can-give-people/Jim Rohn said the best thing you can give anyone is your own personal development. Here's why that's not a nice slogan but a very practical idea.Sun, 22 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/who-am-i-identity-crisis/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/who-am-i-identity-crisis/People ask how I'm doing, and I answer with studio updates, consultation numbers and speaking gigs. Somewhere along the way my story about myself became a work report.Sat, 21 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-keep-forgetting-my-shower-gel/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-keep-forgetting-my-shower-gel/I've never lost an umbrella, a pair of gloves or my glasses. But at 33, a bottle of shower gel finally defeated me — three of them are gone already.Thu, 19 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2-weeks-without-social-media/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/2-weeks-without-social-media/I thought quitting short-form content would be hard. It wasn't. Two weeks in, my productivity tripled and my baseline mood went from a 5 to an 8.Wed, 18 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/feed-your-business-not-your-insecurities/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/feed-your-business-not-your-insecurities/An Apple Watch Ultra on the wrist and a maxed-out credit card is a common combination. Our financial situation is 80% psychology, not current resources.Tue, 17 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/long-tail-of-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/long-tail-of-results/Some things burn out like a sparkler in your hand. Others keep paying you back for years. Build the fireplace and stock the firewood first — fireworks later.Mon, 16 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/300-days-writing-blog/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/300-days-writing-blog/300 days in a row, I've been writing and publishing new blog posts every single day. I'll admit honestly, some busy days made that hard.Sat, 14 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/financial-literacy-gives-freedom/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/financial-literacy-gives-freedom/The most valuable thing money gives you is the ability to stop thinking about it. Financial literacy gradually lowers that stress.Fri, 13 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/7-roles-for-a-happy-family/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/7-roles-for-a-happy-family/A family will be very happy if the couple knows about these 7 roles, and both husband and wife try to fulfil them, each from their own side.Thu, 12 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/emotionally-significant-events/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/emotionally-significant-events/Today is September 11. This day changed the course of American history. For us in Ukraine, February 24 became our equivalent.Wed, 11 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/7-days-without-social-media-feed/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/7-days-without-social-media-feed/So far this is the most productive experiment of my life. I've never felt this level of focus, concentration, and motivation before.Tue, 10 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-reach-a-new-financial-level/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-reach-a-new-financial-level/Five practical ideas that helped me sort out the financial side of my life. No promises of quick money.Mon, 09 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/working-with-reality-as-it-is/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/working-with-reality-as-it-is/Plenty of people live in an invented world and run from their real problems. Every time I start working with what I actually have, I get stronger.Sun, 08 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/rewarding-yourself-is-a-process/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/rewarding-yourself-is-a-process/Rest and reward are as much a business process as the work itself. When we borrow energy from our body for too long, it collects on that debt with interest.Sat, 07 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/financial-literacy-gives-more-freedom/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/financial-literacy-gives-more-freedom/At 20 I lost more than $10,000 and spent the next year paying off debt. Sixteen years on, I am convinced wealth is 80% mindset, not knowledge.Fri, 06 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-days-without-social-media-feed/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-days-without-social-media-feed/I decided to try one day with no feed at all. The effect surprised me more than I expected: real mental clarity and a completely different level of motivation.Thu, 05 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/focus-on-what-matters/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/focus-on-what-matters/Household routine quietly eats the energy and attention you need for the big things. On the "clean house syndrome" and why chores are worth handing off.Wed, 04 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/learn-to-let-go-of-goals/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/learn-to-let-go-of-goals/When resources are scarce, chasing several directions at once means getting results in none of them. On finding the one domino that knocks the rest over.Tue, 03 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/planning-the-month-is-planning-your-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/planning-the-month-is-planning-your-life/Thirty minutes at the start of the month instead of drifting with the current. What goes into my monthly plan and how it turns into daily tasks.Sun, 01 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/august-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/august-2024-results/Gladwell and Tarasov, delegation, a new camera operator in the studio and the first run of our SMM course. Book, films, skill, hypothesis, habit and the insight of the month.Sat, 31 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/only-sell-products-you-believe-in/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/only-sell-products-you-believe-in/Solid products sell themselves. Mediocre ones always leave the seller with guilt and an inner conflict.Fri, 30 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-get-what-we-agree-to/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-get-what-we-agree-to/We don't get what we want — we get what we agree to. When we truly want to change a situation, we change it immediately.Thu, 29 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-is-your-good-mood-worth/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-is-your-good-mood-worth/Life is 10% events and 90% our reaction to them. One question keeps me from handing over my mood for free.Wed, 28 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/financial-dependence-on-your-husband/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/financial-dependence-on-your-husband/If your husband is a decent man, money never becomes a bargaining chip. If he isn't, full financial dependence turns into a painful trap.Tue, 27 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-image-in-our-head-causes-suffering/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-image-in-our-head-causes-suffering/You can have a great deal and still be deeply unhappy. The wider the gap between your reality and the life you pictured, the more it hurts.Mon, 26 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-addictions-enter-our-lives/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-addictions-enter-our-lives/An addiction doesn't show up in a single day. It walks into your life in three steps — and every one of them looks harmless.Sun, 25 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-you-start-your-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-you-start-your-day/Five minutes on your phone right after waking up can ruin the next twelve hours. I've tested this on myself.Sat, 24 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/275-days-of-daily-posting/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/275-days-of-daily-posting/What started as an experiment has turned into a steady habit and a skill.Fri, 23 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/200-000-followers-on-tiktok/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/200-000-followers-on-tiktok/Two years ago my head was full of doubts: who needs my content, why should anyone listen to me. I managed to act in spite of those thoughts.Thu, 22 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-breaking-up-a-reset/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-breaking-up-a-reset/The page is new, but the handwriting stays the same. Why we repeat the exact same mistakes in a new relationship.Wed, 21 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/always-defend-the-person-you-love/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/always-defend-the-person-you-love/Even when your partner is in the wrong, in public you stand on their side. Save the corrections for a private conversation.Mon, 19 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/strong-people-apologize/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/strong-people-apologize/An apology doesn't make you weak — it shows you can put the person you love above your own need to be right.Sun, 18 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/10-questions-before-the-wedding/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/10-questions-before-the-wedding/Money, children, roles at home, conflict, intimacy. Ten conversations better had before the wedding than after it.Sat, 17 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/prevention-beats-treatment/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/prevention-beats-treatment/30 minutes a day for your partner is cheaper than 3 months rescuing a marriage on the edge of divorce. The same rule holds for money, health and work.Tue, 13 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-recorded-a-podcast-today/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-recorded-a-podcast-today/I expected a conversation with a stand-up comedian to be all jokes. What we got was a calm, deep talk about breakups.Mon, 12 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/hardest-to-earn-small-money/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/hardest-to-earn-small-money/Income works like gravity — getting off the ground is the hardest part. Why simple work always pays badly, and what to do about it.Sun, 11 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/leveling-up-my-character/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/leveling-up-my-character/I've decided to show not just the results but the whole path: goals, mistakes, the habits still holding me back. Like an RPG, except the character is real.Sat, 10 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/showing-my-path-to-goals-publicly/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/showing-my-path-to-goals-publicly/People usually see a single post about an achievement, never the strategy behind it. What if I fixed my point A and showed the whole road honestly?Fri, 09 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/helping-my-dad-with-his-teeth/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/helping-my-dad-with-his-teeth/We finally got my father's teeth done. And I was reminded again: even when you can improve a loved one's life, they may not want the same thing you do.Thu, 08 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-cant-keep-up-with-my-dms/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-cant-keep-up-with-my-dms/400,000 followers means dozens, sometimes hundreds of conversations a day. For two years I answered every message myself — and the avalanche keeps growing.Tue, 06 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-a-man-acts-like-a-man/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-a-man-acts-like-a-man/A woman is incredibly fertile 'soil' — the better you care for her, the better the harvest you reap. Why making your wife happy is a man's task number one.Mon, 05 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/man-as-leader-in-the-family-part-3/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/man-as-leader-in-the-family-part-3/When a man takes on the role of number one, his wife gains room to choose. And why I don't believe in a 50/50 partnership.Sun, 04 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/woman-behind-the-wheel-of-the-family-part-2/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/woman-behind-the-wheel-of-the-family-part-2/A woman's disbelief in her husband seals the lid on his potential leadership. Answering the most common objection: 'he won't step up anyway'.Sat, 03 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/woman-behind-the-wheel-of-the-family/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/woman-behind-the-wheel-of-the-family/A car can only have one driver. What a woman can do if she has been carrying the whole family for years and wants her husband to finally take the wheel.Fri, 02 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/free-to-choose-your-dependence/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/free-to-choose-your-dependence/Complete independence is a myth — we all lean on something. The only real question is how wisely we choose what that something is.Thu, 01 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/july-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/july-2024-results/A month with no new course launch that still beat its financial targets. Book, films, skill, hypothesis, habit and the main insight.Wed, 31 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-illness-a-signal/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-illness-a-signal/I caught a cold and started wondering whether the body uses it to say: slow down and rest.Tue, 30 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMThealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/service-in-small-things/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/service-in-small-things/A bookshop slipped a small gift into my parcel — and earned a free recommendation in a blog that almost no advertiser can buy their way into.Mon, 29 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/250-days-of-daily-posting/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/250-days-of-daily-posting/A habit doesn't form in 21 days — it takes about six months. After 250 days of daily posts I've seen it on myself.Sun, 28 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-few-simple-things-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-few-simple-things-every-day/Success is a few simple right actions repeated every day. Here's the list of habits I built — and the things I gave up.Sat, 27 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/kaizen-continuous-improvement/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/kaizen-continuous-improvement/Kaizen means never-ending small improvements. For six months I've upgraded something in the office every week, and the effect turned out to compound.Thu, 25 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-country-where-you-have-to-shout/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-country-where-you-have-to-shout/Stay polite and you get politely ignored. Make a scene and the problem is solved in a minute. A story about a stuck elevator and 90 minutes of waiting.Wed, 24 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/looking-for-novelty/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/looking-for-novelty/One of the main reasons people cheat is the search for novelty. But everything they look for elsewhere can be built inside their own marriage, if even part of that effort goes there.Mon, 22 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dark-side-of-the-spiritual-world/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dark-side-of-the-spiritual-world/People come to me trying to fix their family problems with astrology, tarot and Vedic practices. Here's why, as a Christian, my view of this is strongly negative.Sun, 21 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/almost-got-into-a-fight-with-a-cyclist/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/almost-got-into-a-fight-with-a-cyclist/A drunk cyclist slapped my car window after I'd already given him the road. I jumped out and genuinely wanted to hit him.Sat, 20 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-get-through-a-crisis/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-get-through-a-crisis/You can only pull someone out of a swamp if you're standing on solid ground yourself. Here's how I keep myself resourceful.Fri, 19 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/240-days-writing-blog/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/240-days-writing-blog/I've been writing and publishing a post every day for 240 days now. How much longer do you think I'll last?Thu, 18 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-solve-hard-problems/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-solve-hard-problems/The harder the problems you can solve, the easier and more interesting your life gets. And the reverse is just as true.Wed, 17 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/buying-back-my-attention/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/buying-back-my-attention/I installed a system that keeps the lights on during blackouts and realized I'm mostly paying for the right to never think about that problem again.Tue, 16 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/can-you-bring-back-enthusiasm/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/can-you-bring-back-enthusiasm/Ten years ago we had twenty times fewer resources and far more drive. I'm thinking through what a person's enthusiasm and courage actually depend on.Mon, 15 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/nastya-away-for-a-week/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/nastya-away-for-a-week/A week without my wife, and I'm thinking again about why long-distance relationships are so hard to keep alive — and what my client work says about it.Sun, 14 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-kinds-of-activities-energy-giving-and-draining/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-kinds-of-activities-energy-giving-and-draining/Everything we do either drains our energy or restores it. I break down both lists and explain why losing that balance leads straight into apathy.Sat, 13 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-anti-record-of-seven-online-sessions/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-anti-record-of-seven-online-sessions/I ran seven online sessions in a single day — my personal anti-record. Why that load is brutal, and what to do when the calendar simply won't stretch.Fri, 12 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/do-what-you-did-at-the-beginning-of-the-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/do-what-you-did-at-the-beginning-of-the-relationship/"Do what you did at the beginning and the relationship will never end." Why feelings don't cool on their own, and how they can grow stronger with years.Thu, 11 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/assembling-shelves-with-my-father/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/assembling-shelves-with-my-father/An hour of four-handed work with my dad was a reminder of something simple: parents are not forever, and no amount of money buys that time back.Wed, 10 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/searching-for-justice-leads-to-suffering/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/searching-for-justice-leads-to-suffering/Five ideas that help me get through difficult and dark periods. The first one is accepting that there is no justice on this Earth.Tue, 09 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-you-see-photos-like-these/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-you-see-photos-like-these/You would think that by the third year of the war the mind has adapted to everything. Some days it doesn't, and all that's left is to donate, pray and not give up.Mon, 08 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/difficult-stretches-of-the-road/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/difficult-stretches-of-the-road/Social media makes it look like everything is always fine with me. It isn't. Right now I'm walking through hundreds of small cuts and disappointments.Sun, 07 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-act-in-the-heat-of-the-moment/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-act-in-the-heat-of-the-moment/I was unfairly removed from a course leaderboard and badly wanted to say it all in front of everyone. Here's why I didn't, and what the pause gave me.Sat, 06 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/do-you-know-how-to-rest/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/do-you-know-how-to-rest/Lying by a pool for a couple of hours without thinking about work is still outside my comfort zone. On why resting is a skill you have to learn too.Fri, 05 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/right-habits-take-you-to-a-new-level/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/right-habits-take-you-to-a-new-level/If you really want to know where you'll be years from now, look at your most stable habits. The habits we build are the life we end up living.Thu, 04 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/emotions-are-air-for-a-woman/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/emotions-are-air-for-a-woman/Men tell me they have no time for romantic gestures. Yet three or four hours for an argument always turn up. On attention and openness as the base of a happy family.Wed, 03 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/yellow-ladder/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/yellow-ladder/I could have bought the plainest ladder for 500 hryvnia. I paid 1,600 for a black-and-yellow one — and I'm glad every single day. On how small things change a space.Tue, 02 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-month-inside-the-game/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-month-inside-the-game/Six weeks on a new course: short videos, chatbots, viral topics. What I learned, what I'm changing in the school, and why the money came back many times over.Mon, 01 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/june-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/june-2024-results/A Jim Collins book, Mayor of Kingstown, the skill of short video, a sleep routine, and the insight of the month: every piece of content leads somewhere next.Sun, 30 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/new-relationship-before-divorce/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/new-relationship-before-divorce/People decide to divorce and already consider themselves free. Why a relationship started while you're still legally married to someone else is doomed.Fri, 28 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/surround-yourself-with-professionals/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/surround-yourself-with-professionals/The right specialist beside you is a channel for knowledge and experience. Here are the professionals I bring into my life and what it gives me.Thu, 27 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-idea-pride-wont-let-you-accept/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-idea-pride-wont-let-you-accept/One idea keeps millions of people from building a happy relationship, and pride is what blocks it: if my relationship isn't happy, I'm doing something wrong too.Wed, 26 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/biggest-mistake-men-make/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/biggest-mistake-men-make/Many men assume that if she hasn't left yet, she never will. That's a dangerous illusion — patience accumulates, and one day it simply runs out.Tue, 25 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/initiative-in-relationships/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/initiative-in-relationships/Flowers you thought of yourself and flowers brought after 18 requests and 3 arguments carry completely different weight. Nobody wants to be the one always asking.Mon, 24 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everything-in-life-accumulates/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everything-in-life-accumulates/Every one of us has more opportunity today than an Egyptian pharaoh ever did. Twenty free minutes a day is enough to start moving upward.Sun, 23 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/choosing-between-two-prices/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/choosing-between-two-prices/A money habit I've used for years: compare the gap between two prices, not the prices themselves. It changes your decisions more than you'd expect.Sat, 22 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-right-habit-can-change-your-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-right-habit-can-change-your-life/Robots run on algorithms, people run on habits. Look at what someone does with an ordinary day and you can predict their future with startling accuracy.Fri, 21 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/paying-a-little-extra-pays-off/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/paying-a-little-extra-pays-off/For years I've been paying specialists 10-50% more than they quoted me. The return turned out to be human rather than financial — and it works.Thu, 20 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-day-that-feels-like-a-year/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-day-that-feels-like-a-year/Some days feel like a whole year. Dentist, generator, office, a consultation, my parents, evening prayer — here's everything I got done in a single day.Wed, 19 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-people-devalue-the-results-of-a-consultation/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-people-devalue-the-results-of-a-consultation/A couple spends 50 minutes working on their relationship, then wipes out the result with one question. If you don't believe your partner can change, at least don't say it in front of them.Mon, 17 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/important-to-feed-your-business-not-your-insecurities/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/important-to-feed-your-business-not-your-insecurities/Some people pull money out of their business for watches and designer clothes, others reinvest it. I'm in the second camp: first you build the money machine.Sun, 16 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/goals-and-vision-lead-to-a-new-level/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/goals-and-vision-lead-to-a-new-level/I wrote out my big life goals — 11 of them. Here's the list, and why having a vision of the future makes it easier to walk through a hard present.Sat, 15 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/there-are-always-options/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/there-are-always-options/If you haven't found a solution yet, that doesn't mean there isn't one. Usually we simply haven't found the right door and knocked on it hard enough.Fri, 14 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/time-with-like-minded-people/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/time-with-like-minded-people/I firmly believe half of our success in life comes down to the people around us. The right circle gets you to the next level faster than going it alone.Thu, 13 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/interview-with-boiko/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/interview-with-boiko/One conversation during a conference break turned into a friendship, a joint interview and new contacts. In life, 99% of opportunities walk on two legs.Wed, 12 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-funny-story-with-a-courier/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-funny-story-with-a-courier/A courier swore about me on the phone, not realising I had already picked up. A story about how harsh people are at a distance and how polite face to face.Tue, 11 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-i-miscalculated-my-workload/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-i-miscalculated-my-workload/I took on two big projects in a single month — my own training and my own course. Combined with day-to-day operations it became a pile-up. Here's the lesson.Mon, 10 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/world-is-ashamed-to-earn-through-a-blog/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/world-is-ashamed-to-earn-through-a-blog/Strong experts live on word of mouth because they are afraid to offer anything publicly. The ones who earn are simply the ones brave enough to speak up.Sun, 09 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/200-days-of-writing-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/200-days-of-writing-every-day/I thought I'd last a couple of weeks. It turns out 15–30 minutes a day is enough for a blog to start bringing clients to you.Sat, 08 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-big-lego-set/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-big-lego-set/For several years I assembled my own studio piece by piece: buying gear in advance, learning new processes. Patience and consistency get rewarded.Fri, 07 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/where-is-our-attention-focused/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/where-is-our-attention-focused/If we were paid $100 for every thought about what's good in our life, how often would we think about the good? Where the attention goes, the result follows.Thu, 06 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-i-chose-nastya/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-i-chose-nastya/Depth, self-awareness and emotional intelligence. The qualities I value most in my wife, and what makes our relationship steady over the years.Wed, 05 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-world-changed-and-most-people-never-noticed/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-world-changed-and-most-people-never-noticed/The internet changed the rules of the game forever, yet most people only use it for entertainment. About the opportunity we walk past every single day.Tue, 04 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-world-is-full-of-asymmetries/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-world-is-full-of-asymmetries/A simple exercise once a quarter: write out the key areas of your life and score each from 1 to 10. The imbalance and the room to grow become obvious.Mon, 03 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-new-decisions-for-the-next-90-days/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-new-decisions-for-the-next-90-days/New results require new actions. On which of the two kinds of "hard" we choose, and what decisions are worth making for the next three months.Sun, 02 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/may-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/may-2024-results/A month with no new books, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, my first chatbots, day 192 of the writing marathon, and the insight that price sets the result.Fri, 31 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/if-a-man-had-many-women-before-you/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/if-a-man-had-many-women-before-you/Women often say they're glad their man "got it out of his system" before them. Here's the practical reason that memory of past partners works against a couple.Thu, 30 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-have-drifted-apart/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-have-drifted-apart/Routine pushes feelings aside and a couple slowly turns into flatmates. On the habits that bring warmth and closeness back into a relationship.Wed, 29 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-urge-to-do-people-good/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-urge-to-do-people-good/The rescuer syndrome destroys closeness: the moment we step into someone else's boundaries, they start to resist. On help nobody asked for.Tue, 28 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-if-something-happens-to-her-man/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-if-something-happens-to-her-man/"But what if he loses his income or you split up?" My answer to the main argument against a woman carrying no financial responsibility.Sun, 26 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ashamed-to-be-a-kept-woman/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ashamed-to-be-a-kept-woman/Women tell me that asking their husband for money feels humiliating. Why providing for the family is a man's natural role, not a favour to his wife.Sat, 25 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-people-cant-fix-their-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-people-cant-fix-their-relationship/Knowledge about relationships is available to everyone now, but habits are not. Why couples understand what to do and still live the old way.Thu, 23 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-stay-happy-no-matter-what/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-stay-happy-no-matter-what/Happiness depends on where our attention is focused. A metaphor: an apartment block with no power, and one flat with solar panels.Tue, 21 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/pride-is-reason-number-one/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/pride-is-reason-number-one/Pride and being closed off is the main reason relationships fall apart. Why wearing the crown of an 'expert' at home only gets in the way.Mon, 20 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-story-of-my-betrayal/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-story-of-my-betrayal/As a schoolboy I took our cat and her kittens to a village far from home. I have never had a pet since. On how childhood wounds work in adult life.Sun, 19 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-struggle-to-fix-my-routine/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-struggle-to-fix-my-routine/I know I should be in bed by midnight, yet I sit on YouTube until 2 or 3 a.m. On the evening boundary for sleep and how the mind tops up its dopamine.Sat, 18 May 2024 00:00:00 GMThealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-mistake-that-often-leads-to-divorce/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-mistake-that-often-leads-to-divorce/Relationships come in three stages: healthy, ill, and intensive care. The biggest mistake is not knowing which one you are actually in right now.Fri, 17 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-save-a-relationship-when-youre-burned-out/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-save-a-relationship-when-youre-burned-out/Even if you're exhausted and don't believe a better outcome is possible, you can still create one. The first step is getting your own inner resources back.Thu, 16 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-to-start-a-family/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-to-start-a-family/Many young men wait until they're "on their feet" before entering a relationship. I believe a family should be started when the feelings are real, not when the finances are perfect.Wed, 15 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-make-decisions-for-other-people/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-make-decisions-for-other-people/When we decide for a husband, a wife or a client, we take away their freedom of choice. In the family and in business alike, it works against us.Mon, 13 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-divorce-makes-no-sense/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-divorce-makes-no-sense/Nobody is surprised when a driver who never took a lesson keeps crashing. So why do we expect a happy family without spending a single hour learning how relationships work?Sun, 12 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-having-a-child-affects-a-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-having-a-child-affects-a-relationship/My recent posts drew hundreds of comments saying "it's easy for you, you don't have kids yet". So I'm asking the people who already do.Sat, 11 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-more-time-you-spend-at-home/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-more-time-you-spend-at-home/I tried working from home for a day instead of the office and the day turned out sluggish and lazy. Why the fridge and the sofa kill productivity.Fri, 10 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/he-will-never-change/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/he-will-never-change/"He will never change" is a line I hear often in consultations. Here's why our own thinking becomes the glass ceiling of our marriage.Thu, 09 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/female-self-deception/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/female-self-deception/We always choose people similar to ourselves. Why "I just ended up with an egotist" is a convenient illusion that blocks a good relationship.Wed, 08 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-principle-80-percent-of-women-ignore/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-principle-80-percent-of-women-ignore/Why do some men protect and provide while others shut down? Using my own marriage as an example, I explain the principle most women overlook.Tue, 07 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/no-mens-work-and-womens-work-at-home/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/no-mens-work-and-womens-work-at-home/Dividing housework into "men's" and "women's" tasks damages a relationship. How Nastya and I split things up, and why your wife's free time pays off for you.Mon, 06 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-female-freedom-from-responsibility-means/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-female-freedom-from-responsibility-means/Yesterday's claim sparked arguments, so here is a fuller explanation of why the 50/50 model burns out the emotional bond between a man and a woman.Sun, 05 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/womens-happiness-in-freedom-from-responsibility/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/womens-happiness-in-freedom-from-responsibility/Several times I talked my wife out of taking a job to earn on par with me, and I don't regret it. Why financial pressure on a woman wrecks a marriage.Sat, 04 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/loyal-followers-help/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/loyal-followers-help/A post with no insights or useful ideas — just thank you. You helped us pick a name for our new course, and your attention is what lets us keep working.Fri, 03 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-days-without-eating-at-night/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-days-without-eating-at-night/For years I haven't managed to drop the habit of snacking in front of the TV at night. Three days of stopping at 7 pm, and mornings feel completely different.Thu, 02 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/april-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/april-2024-results/Fanocracy, Shogun, moving my whole workflow into Notion, getting back to the gym, and the insight that real transformation costs ten times more than useful information.Wed, 01 May 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/customer-focus/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/customer-focus/A story about a forgotten plastic gym pass, and about why being treated well for our own money is still a rarity when it ought to be the norm.Tue, 30 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-choose-people-like-ourselves/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-choose-people-like-ourselves/Each of us has an "emotional home" — the set of feelings we grew used to in childhood. That, not common sense, is usually what picks our partner for us.Mon, 29 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-women-choose-older-men/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-women-choose-older-men/A twenty-year age gap is rarely an accident. How a woman's relationship with her own father shapes the kind of men she chooses in adult life.Sun, 28 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-power-of-your-environment/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-power-of-your-environment/A private chat for bloggers, a first offline meetup in Kyiv, and three hours of other people's hard-won experience. Why your circle is half the result in any endeavour.Sat, 27 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/parable-of-the-sun-and-the-wind/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/parable-of-the-sun-and-the-wind/Two minutes of sun do more than three hours of icy wind. Why grown adults keep choosing the wind — at home, at work and at the scale of a country.Fri, 26 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everyday-improvements/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/everyday-improvements/Water can sit still in a swamp or run alive in a river. Real examples of how barely noticeable daily steps add up to a year of progress.Thu, 25 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/surround-yourself-with-professionals-principle/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/surround-yourself-with-professionals-principle/90% of the opportunities in our life walk on two legs. The most valuable thing my blog brings me is not money or fame — it's the people.Wed, 24 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/right-steps-more-options/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/right-steps-more-options/It is very easy to live inside the illusion of growth. My main indicator is simple: are my options in life widening or narrowing?Tue, 23 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-give-weight-to-the-words-we-hear/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-give-weight-to-the-words-we-hear/We decide what matters in our own life. The same sharp remark can become a burden for years — or be forgotten in fifteen minutes.Mon, 22 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/taking-pauses-along-the-way/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/taking-pauses-along-the-way/For three weeks now I've set aside one day in seven to do nothing productive at all. My weekday output went up and the thoughts about burnout went quiet.Sun, 21 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/150-days-of-writing-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/150-days-of-writing-every-day/Only the things you can turn into a cycle have real power. What changes in your head and in your writing when you publish something every single day.Sat, 20 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-femininity-is/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-femininity-is/Friend, helper and lover — the three roles where femininity matters most. Plus the dozens of small things my wife Nastya does every single day.Fri, 19 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/femininity-and-masculinity/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/femininity-and-masculinity/The principle works both ways, and it doesn't matter who starts. The moment one person in a marriage starts doing the right things, the other eventually follows.Thu, 18 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/so-many-people-living-apart/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/so-many-people-living-apart/One partner in Europe, the other away earning money — and within months the marriage is coming apart. My answer to «how do you save a long-distance relationship» is very short.Wed, 17 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-forward-my-content-to-your-man/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-forward-my-content-to-your-man/Women forward my videos to their husbands and are surprised the men aren't thrilled. A bit of irony about why someone else's videos never change anyone.Tue, 16 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/professional-vs-amateur/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/professional-vs-amateur/Beyond command of the subject, three things give a professional away: they speak in probabilities, they can hear an opponent, and they put the work above personal likes.Mon, 15 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/loneliness-in-a-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/loneliness-in-a-relationship/Two people in the same room, emotionally miles apart. Why it happens and four principles that keep loneliness out of a marriage.Sun, 14 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/learning-to-rest/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/learning-to-rest/I gave myself a real day off — which is unusual for me. I'm learning to treat rest as an important business process, not as a lost day.Sat, 13 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fairness-vs-unconditional-love/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fairness-vs-unconditional-love/The biggest mistake I see in 70-80% of couples I counsel is the search for fairness. The moment fairness leaves a relationship, warmth moves in.Fri, 12 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-right-person-adds-depth/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-right-person-adds-depth/A short thought: the right person beside you adds extra meaning and motivation to your life, and pushes you to become a better version of yourself.Thu, 11 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/anastasias-superpower/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/anastasias-superpower/My wife's self-awareness is the main reason I proposed after a month. Here is how that one quality settles 99% of conflicts in a couple.Wed, 10 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-go-to-the-gym-together/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-go-to-the-gym-together/We are both busy, yet we stay inside each other's lives. Here is how one full day off a week keeps us connected as a couple.Tue, 09 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-52-17-rule/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-52-17-rule/The 52–17 principle: 52 minutes of focused work, then 17 minutes of real rest. A week of testing showed my attention lasts far longer this way.Mon, 08 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/weekly-review/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/weekly-review/Once a week I set aside 30 minutes: my list of goals, current results, uncomfortable questions. A simple habit that noticeably speeds up my progress.Sun, 07 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/day-off-doing-nothing/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/day-off-doing-nothing/For the first time in many months I let myself do absolutely nothing for a whole day. It turns out that doing nothing is a serious step outside my comfort zone.Sat, 06 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/rest-is-a-skill/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/rest-is-a-skill/I don't know how to rest properly — there's some engine inside me that never stops turning. I'm realising I now have to plan my days off as seriously as I plan work.Fri, 05 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-month-in-the-new-office/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-month-in-the-new-office/A studio, new equipment, hiring and a course launch. Plus the story of how the ability to read people turned into a ten-year business partnership.Thu, 04 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/investing-in-knowledge-pays-the-highest-dividends/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/investing-in-knowledge-pays-the-highest-dividends/Four hours in a class on blogging and monetization showed me that I had been doing 70-80% of our public work wrong. A lot of radical changes are coming.Wed, 03 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/four-personality-types-robert-rohm/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/four-personality-types-robert-rohm/Robert Rohm's personality typology splits people into four types. Understand each of them and you can connect with almost anyone, not only with people like yourself.Tue, 02 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-negotiate-with-people/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-negotiate-with-people/The ability to hold a quality conversation is one of the most valuable human skills. Five principles that help you find common ground and keep business relationships intact.Mon, 01 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/march-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/march-2024-results/Hormozi, Dune: Part Two, moving into a new office and the "office rhythm" system, Godox lighting for the studio, and the insight of the month: a hand on the pulse.Sun, 31 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/130-days-of-writing-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/130-days-of-writing-every-day/The first 100 days were easy; this past month I keep thinking "forget it". The motivation is gone, but the flywheel of discipline carries me forward anyway.Sat, 30 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-confuse-motion-with-progress/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-confuse-motion-with-progress/You can burn 200 litres of fuel and spend 20 hours behind the wheel without getting any closer to your destination. Life works the same way: motion isn't progress.Fri, 29 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/planning-your-motivation/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/planning-your-motivation/Motivation fades fast — but so does a clean body, and we still shower every day. One habit: 5–10 minutes daily on content that genuinely inspires you.Thu, 28 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/willpower-is-a-finite-resource/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/willpower-is-a-finite-resource/Willpower works like a muscle and only recharges during sleep. That's why the hardest tasks belong at the start of the day and routine work in the afternoon.Wed, 27 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-reasons-for-workaholism/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-reasons-for-workaholism/Why do people fall into workaholism? I break down three causes using my own life as the example — from an inherited work ethic to escaping reality.Tue, 26 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/discipline-is-a-form-of-self-love/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/discipline-is-a-form-of-self-love/Discipline shows that you take yourself and your time seriously — that you're willing to give up what you want now for a much better result a year from now.Mon, 25 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-have-to-say-no/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-have-to-say-no/Early on it pays to grab every opportunity. But a moment comes when you have to turn down 90% of what comes in, just to keep your focus on the one thing that matters.Sun, 24 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/new-directions-for-our-content/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/new-directions-for-our-content/Finance, business and productivity are moving into separate accounts. Why we're running seven topics at once and how that prevents burning out as a creator.Sat, 23 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-are-launching-new-content-formats/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-are-launching-new-content-formats/For two years we shot hundreds of rough videos and won on volume. Now we have our own studio, editing and b-roll — a deliberate shift from quantity to quality.Fri, 22 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-so-many-people-are-passive/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-so-many-people-are-passive/A small problem left alone becomes a medium one, then a large one. Why passivity is so expensive, and what you can do instead.Thu, 21 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/flywheel-of-change/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/flywheel-of-change/One very small but concrete improvement every day. Why 5-10 minutes is enough to start the flywheel turning in any area of your life.Wed, 20 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/no-alcohol-for-17-years/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/no-alcohol-for-17-years/On 1 December 2006 I wrote a promise in my notebook: not a drop of alcohol, not a single cigarette. Seventeen years on, I've never regretted it.Tue, 19 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMThealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/our-new-video-studio/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/our-new-video-studio/My first attempts at making content were back in 2011, and only now do I have a studio of my own. On holding onto a dream with a bulldog grip.Mon, 18 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/same-boat-with-the-people-we-love/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/same-boat-with-the-people-we-love/The idea I wish I'd understood 15 years ago: when someone close to you gets seriously ill, it becomes your problem too.Sun, 17 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMThealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/5-years-together-with-nastya/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/5-years-together-with-nastya/It's our wedding anniversary — five years together. Here are five simple principles that help Nastya and me build our relationship.Fri, 15 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-rhythm-of-our-office/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-rhythm-of-our-office/Ten days in the new office and the team already has a rhythm: 20-30 minutes every day to exchange thoughts. Here's what that actually gives us.Thu, 14 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-vision-for-the-rest-of-2024/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-vision-for-the-rest-of-2024/Five main work goals for the rest of the year: genuinely useful videos, a million-strong audience, a thousand students a month, a busy studio and corporate clients.Wed, 13 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-move-toward-your-goals-faster/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-move-toward-your-goals-faster/We held our first in-person team sync. Here's what the synergy effect does for you, and the start of a mini-series about life inside our office.Tue, 12 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-value-strangers-more-than-family/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-value-strangers-more-than-family/On early dates we hang on every word. Six years later we sit across from each other staring at our phones. Why neglect kills a relationship fastest.Mon, 11 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/selfishness-pride-and-pettiness/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/selfishness-pride-and-pettiness/Three things that quietly destroy the emotional bond in a family and push couples towards divorce. Plus the question I ask myself before any fight.Sun, 10 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-does-love-leave-a-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-does-love-leave-a-relationship/After a few years of married life feelings cool down and only habit and predictability are left. Three simple ideas to start turning it around.Sat, 09 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-successful-man-is-a-happy-wife/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-successful-man-is-a-happy-wife/In many families a woman gets real attention three times a year: Valentine's Day, March 8th and her birthday. Why that will never be enough.Fri, 08 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-i-deal-with-criticism/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-i-deal-with-criticism/Nobody who does more than you will criticize you. Why the fear of judgment steals your potential and how to respond to hate.Thu, 07 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-favorite-books/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-favorite-books/The 15 books that changed my life — from the Bible and Timothy Keller to Atomic Habits, Good to Great and The Goal.Wed, 06 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-favorite-tv-shows/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-favorite-tv-shows/My favorite TV series ranked by preference — from The Chosen and Billions to Chernobyl and Your Honor.Tue, 05 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-all-time-favorite-movies/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-all-time-favorite-movies/A list of 44 films that made the strongest impression on me — from The Shawshank Redemption and The Last Samurai to Dune and Tenet.Mon, 04 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/an-important-principle-in-working-with-people/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/an-important-principle-in-working-with-people/One rule has helped me work with my team and contractors for over ten years: if it isn't written down, it doesn't exist. It removes almost every future conflict.Sun, 03 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/moving-into-our-new-office-studio/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/moving-into-our-new-office-studio/Today we moved into a new office-studio — 65 square metres for the team and for filming. Why I've spent ten years growing this business on my own money.Sat, 02 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/february-2024-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/february-2024-results/Hormozi's $100M Offers, the film Golda, analysing Western videos, five minutes of Spanish a day, and moving into a 62 square metre office studio.Fri, 01 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/100-days-of-writing-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/100-days-of-writing-every-day/One hundred days of daily posts: how it sharpens your attention, why one idea per post beats five, and what the habit of writing every day gives you.Thu, 29 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/results-in-the-work-you-avoid/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/results-in-the-work-you-avoid/For years I put off the actions that would have taken me to the next level. Success in anything is 80% psychology and only 20% mechanics and strategy.Wed, 28 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/comparing-yourself-to-others/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/comparing-yourself-to-others/On social media we only see the slice of someone's life they chose to show. Why comparing yourself to others ends in suffering, and who to compare yourself with instead.Tue, 27 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/focus-on-one-growth-lever/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/focus-on-one-growth-lever/As long as you're playing ten roles at once, you'll never go deep in any of them. Real results start when you find your growth lever and focus on it.Mon, 26 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-bring-more-value-to-others/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-bring-more-value-to-others/Our attention is the key to our life. When we do work we genuinely love, interest wakes up on its own — and our value to the market grows right behind it.Sun, 25 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/money-is-feedback-from-the-market/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/money-is-feedback-from-the-market/We earn as much as we are useful to other people. And the level of that usefulness is influenced by us alone — not by an employer and not by circumstances.Sat, 24 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-earn-from-what-you-love/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-earn-from-what-you-love/Almost anything you love can be monetized — you just haven't found how yet. The simple way to find the answer: 10-15 hours of the right queries on Google and YouTube.Fri, 23 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-your-calling-changes-your-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-your-calling-changes-your-life/There is one area of life that pulls all the others along behind it like a locomotive. It is our calling and the work that flows out of it.Thu, 22 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/there-is-no-justice/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/there-is-no-justice/There is no justice in relationships, in the economy or in geopolitics. Why fighting for it burns us out, and what stepping down as judge gives back.Wed, 21 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ban-on-joy/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ban-on-joy/The psyche shields us from traumatic news and cuts off everything that used to bring pleasure along with it. Why the body still needs good emotions in wartime.Tue, 20 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-we-dont-set-goals/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-we-dont-set-goals/Past goal lists didn't come true, and nobody wants to repeat that. So people stop setting goals at all — and end up with an even deeper disappointment.Mon, 19 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/important-principle-of-building-a-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/important-principle-of-building-a-relationship/A rule from the family charter Nastya and I wrote before the wedding: 999 situations out of 1000 aren't worth a fight — if you take the crown off your head.Sun, 18 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-save-a-difficult-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-save-a-difficult-relationship/Couples match each other 10% or 80%. The gap can be closed by how much work you put into the relationship — and almost any marriage can be saved that way.Sat, 17 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/doubts-before-the-wedding/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/doubts-before-the-wedding/Doubts before a wedding are a normal state — you truly don't know your partner or yourself yet. The dangerous part is self-deception while you're still dating.Fri, 16 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-test-questions-for-dating-couples/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-test-questions-for-dating-couples/Two questions that help you work out whether this is the person to build a family with. The first thought that comes to mind matters more than long reasoning.Thu, 15 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-valentines-day-teaches-us/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-valentines-day-teaches-us/On February 14 couples plan time together, avoid arguments and actually listen to each other. The question is why this happens only three times a year.Wed, 14 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-it-pays-to-be-a-student/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-it-pays-to-be-a-student/There's the inner stance of the 'expert' and the inner stance of the 'student'. The first is expensive: you spend your life explaining yourself. The second gets results.Sun, 11 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/if-you-dont-like-mondays/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/if-you-dont-like-mondays/A simple test: would you keep doing your work if they stopped paying you for it? The answer shows whether you've found your calling or are just serving hours.Sat, 10 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/height-of-promise-height-of-fall/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/height-of-promise-height-of-fall/When we promise something and don't deliver, we fall from the height of our own commitments. Why it's better to promise rarely and always keep your word.Fri, 09 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-fear-paralyzes-you/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-fear-paralyzes-you/Some fear is concrete and saves your life. Other fear is a phantom: it warns you about nothing and only paralyzes your will. How to tell them apart.Thu, 08 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-you-have-no-strength-or-energy/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-you-have-no-strength-or-energy/Bloodwork, food, movement, sleep and the quiet killers of your resource — 7 places to start when you have nothing left in the tank.Wed, 07 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMThealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/instant-gratification-culture/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/instant-gratification-culture/Twenty minutes on your phone after waking up, and your brain is tuned to fast dopamine all day. Why reading and deep work stop working after that.Tue, 06 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-started-learning-english/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-started-learning-english/I put off English grammar for years — a classic frog goal. It turned out one simple decision stood between me and the goal: message a tutor.Mon, 05 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/which-direction-are-we-moving/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/which-direction-are-we-moving/Reputation, a house, a daily text — all of it grows in one direction only. If you build with one hand and tear down with the other, nothing moves.Sun, 04 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-kinds-of-destiny/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-kinds-of-destiny/Tragic, troubled or harmonious — which scenario your life follows is decided by the quality of the decisions you make.Sat, 03 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-years-and-ten-months-without-meat/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/two-years-and-ten-months-without-meat/Nastya and I tried one month without meat, keeping only fish. The experiment has been running for nearly three years and turned out to be a great investment in our health.Fri, 02 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMThealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/questions-to-ask-a-man/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/questions-to-ask-a-man/Ten questions that help you read the motives of the man you are dating. Ask them not head-on, but at the right moment in the right conversation.Thu, 01 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/january-results-2024/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/january-results-2024/Stefan Zweig's novellas, all 7 seasons of The Mentalist, day 70 of my daily writing marathon, and the month's main lesson: schedule rest before anything else.Wed, 31 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-men-are-unhappy-in-marriage/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-men-are-unhappy-in-marriage/Rudeness, inattention and neglect — five mistakes men make that one day end with a husband hearing the words: I'm leaving you.Tue, 30 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-women-are-unhappy-in-marriage/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-women-are-unhappy-in-marriage/Resentment blinds a wife so completely that she sees an enemy in her husband. Yet she is the one carrying that stone, and no one else suffers from it.Mon, 29 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-person-can-save-a-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/one-person-can-save-a-relationship/"Both partners have to work on it" is true. But one of them can start. Usually the wiser one. And in time, that happiness comes back to them.Sun, 28 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-make-your-man-happy/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-make-your-man-happy/Gratitude instead of criticism, support instead of control, forgiveness instead of guilt. Ten things that turn the man beside you into a king.Sat, 27 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ten-ways-to-show-your-wife-attention/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/ten-ways-to-show-your-wife-attention/Meet her at the door, ask about her day, pick up flowers on the way home. Ten concrete everyday actions that make a wife bloom next to you.Fri, 26 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-a-woman-earns-more/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-a-woman-earns-more/When a wife carries the family financially for years, she stops being happy. There is always a concrete reason behind a man's financial passivity.Thu, 25 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/should-a-man-win-a-woman-over/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/should-a-man-win-a-woman-over/The «come and get me» game switches a man into hunting mode. You fall for the mode, not the man — and after the wedding he returns to who he actually is.Wed, 24 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/feelings-can-grow-stronger-every-year/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/feelings-can-grow-stronger-every-year/A man 14 years into his marriage said he loves his wife more than at the start. Why feelings really can grow over the years, and what it takes.Tue, 23 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/being-closed-off-costs-a-lot/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/being-closed-off-costs-a-lot/Hundreds of comments on a post about surnames revealed the real issue: people cling to being right even when married life has turned into constant torture.Mon, 22 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-she-doesnt-want-his-last-name/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-she-doesnt-want-his-last-name/Why a last name is not a formality for a man but a matter of belonging to his family line, and what he hears when his wife keeps her own.Sun, 21 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/friendship-between-a-man-and-a-woman/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/friendship-between-a-man-and-a-woman/He texts a woman who is 'just a friend', she spends hours on the phone with a colleague. Three conditions under which such a friendship doesn't damage a marriage.Sat, 20 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-living-apart-a-good-idea/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-living-apart-a-good-idea/A couple in crisis decides to live apart for a while to cool down. Why distance doesn't solve the problems and only multiplies the temptations.Thu, 18 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-a-man-drinks-and-cant-control-himself/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/when-a-man-drinks-and-cant-control-himself/A crisis in the relationship caused by his addiction: drinking, games, pornography. Why a man is usually washing down pain, and what a wife can do about it.Wed, 17 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/replace-commands-with-questions/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/replace-commands-with-questions/A man with a backbone reacts badly to orders, even fair ones. Swapping the imperative for a question is a small change with a direct effect on family life.Tue, 16 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-need-to-talk-red-flag-phrase/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-need-to-talk-red-flag-phrase/She only wanted to talk things through, and it turned into a fight. Why this phrase works like a red rag on most men and how to open a hard conversation.Mon, 15 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/woman-for-a-relationship-or-for-fun/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/woman-for-a-relationship-or-for-fun/Men sort women into two categories, and his behavior gives the category away immediately. Both patterns, plus the principle: you catch what you fish for.Sun, 14 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-interfere-with-a-mans-free-will/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/dont-interfere-with-a-mans-free-will/When a woman pushes hard on a man's decisions, he ends up in a mental straitjacket and starts to suffocate. On control, jealousy and personal boundaries.Sat, 13 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-matters-most-to-a-man-in-marriage/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-matters-most-to-a-man-in-marriage/Respect and sex are a man's two main fuels. Then a third: feelings expressed in his love language. Here's what actually depends on the woman.Fri, 12 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-questions-that-shape-a-mans-self-esteem/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-questions-that-shape-a-mans-self-esteem/Who am I? What do I do? How much do I earn? Until a man has answered these three, he'll stay inside his own struggle — and that's about him, not about you.Thu, 11 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/50-days-of-daily-writing/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/50-days-of-daily-writing/Fifty days of writing daily: why text is a deeper way to talk to a reader than video, and why I am teaching myself to simply show up at the gym first.Wed, 10 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-develop-discipline/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-develop-discipline/Discipline works like a muscle: even one small action in the morning switches the whole thing on. And the more disciplined you are, the more freedom you get.Tue, 09 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/only-what-turns-into-a-cycle-has-power/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/only-what-turns-into-a-cycle-has-power/A decision without a system almost always fizzles out. How to weave an important task into a rhythm of regular actions so the effect starts to compound.Mon, 08 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-become-an-author/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-become-an-author/A person lives life in one of three positions: author, victim or observer. Here's how they differ and what being the author of my own life means to me.Sun, 07 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-i-set-goals-for-the-next-year/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-i-set-goals-for-the-next-year/Five principles that help me set and reach my goals: keep them realistic, keep them big, balance the areas of life, review weekly, and pick one main direction.Sat, 06 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-achieving-goals-makes-us-happy/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-achieving-goals-makes-us-happy/Goals come in two kinds: ours and imposed. An imposed one runs on willpower; a real one gives you energy at the mere thought of it — and that's what brings happiness.Fri, 05 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/hard-to-change-your-handwriting/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/hard-to-change-your-handwriting/Setting new goals is easy. Changing your lifestyle and habits is not. Here are the three things that have to shift, and the four questions I ask of every goal.Thu, 04 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-set-and-achieve-goals/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-set-and-achieve-goals/When missiles fly and air raid sirens go off three times a day, planning feels naive. But if we don't plan our own lives, someone else will plan them for us.Wed, 03 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/december-2023-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/december-2023-results/Monthly roundup: best book, a series, the most useful video, the skill I worked on, a hypothesis, a habit, and the key insight. December 2023.Tue, 02 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/expectations-into-gratitude/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/expectations-into-gratitude/Expect nothing and get a lollipop — you're happy. Expect a chocolate factory and get a lollipop — you're crushed. Same lollipop, different expectations.Mon, 01 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/mistakes-of-2023/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/mistakes-of-2023/Instead of an inspiring year-end post — three real mistakes of 2023: losing focus, delaying decisions, and never doing my homework on my own problems.Sun, 31 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-didnt-work-for-me-in-2023/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/what-didnt-work-for-me-in-2023/Two areas where I fell badly short this year: health and my family's safety. Plus the three states in which we meet any problem that comes our way.Sat, 30 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/mastermind-and-the-power-of-your-circle/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/mastermind-and-the-power-of-your-circle/In 2023 I finally made my long-standing mastermind idea happen. How the format works, who belongs at the table, and why your circle is 50% of the result.Fri, 29 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-team-behind-all-of-it/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-team-behind-all-of-it/A year and a half ago I published content alone with one editor; now more than 10 people are involved. The five principles I use to build a team.Thu, 28 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/23-of-50-goals-closed/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/23-of-50-goals-closed/Half of a long list beats 100% of a short one. My 2023 results: 23 goals out of 50 closed, and content finally split into separate themed accounts.Wed, 27 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-first-50-000-followers-on-instagram/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-first-50-000-followers-on-instagram/For years I dismissed Instagram and never worked on it — a big mistake. Why it is never too late to start building an audience on social media.Tue, 26 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-event-that-changed-the-world/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-event-that-changed-the-world/For some, Christmas is a family dinner or a couple of days off. For me it is a symbol of God's love for people and the event that changed all of history.Mon, 25 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-all-live-the-way-we-want-to-live/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-all-live-the-way-we-want-to-live/You spend years complaining about the pay, the boss and the office — and years driving back to that same office. Behind that self-blame sits plain self-deception.Sun, 24 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/an-unequal-exchange/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/an-unequal-exchange/We spin our wheels for years because we keep trading what we want from life globally for a small pleasure available right here and now.Sat, 23 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/life-is-a-universal-learning-system/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/life-is-a-universal-learning-system/Life turns up the pressure exactly where we are least adequate. The first signals are gentle — but the deeper you sleep, the harder you get woken.Fri, 22 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-valley-of-humiliation-and-confusion/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-valley-of-humiliation-and-confusion/To start doing something you can't do yet, you have to walk through a valley of confusion: fear, helplessness and shame. Here is how I do it.Thu, 21 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-habit-i-cant-quit/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-habit-i-cant-quit/Cue, routine, reward. Using my own example, I break down why evening snacks in front of the screen hold on so tightly — and what could replace them.Wed, 20 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/10-universal-skills/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/10-universal-skills/Some skills speed you up in several areas of life at once, others only pay off in very specific circumstances. Here are 10 of the first kind.Tue, 19 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/skills-that-change-your-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/skills-that-change-your-life/You can be a strong specialist and still hit a ceiling because of your character. Why soft skills matter more than hard ones today — and why kindness is a superpower.Mon, 18 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-top-youtube-channels/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/my-top-youtube-channels/Eight creators whose new episodes I wait for and rewatch several times: business, marketing, personal productivity and motivation.Sun, 17 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/apps-that-help/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/apps-that-help/Six apps that save me time and make me money: Notion, Google Calendar, Google Drive, a habit tracker, a sobriety counter and Youtube.Sat, 16 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-improve-your-communication-skills/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-to-improve-your-communication-skills/Do not overpromise, hear people out, react to what they say and keep track of your loose ends — four practical tips for talking with other people.Fri, 15 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-get-what-we-agree-on/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-get-what-we-agree-on/In life we get what we can agree on. Three books and a few principles that help you learn how to negotiate with other people.Thu, 14 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-weeks-of-writing-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-weeks-of-writing-every-day/Three weeks into the “not a day without a line” challenge. Here is the technique of lighting one match from another, so you never sit down to a blank page.Wed, 13 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-states-of-a-relationship/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-states-of-a-relationship/Like a person's health, a relationship exists in one of three states. Couples fail to save theirs because they don't know which of the three they are in.Tue, 12 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/value-in-every-post/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/value-in-every-post/Entertainment, information, problem-raising, value — four content formats. Why I chose the fourth one, and what it gives you even when your reach is tiny.Mon, 11 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-dont-know-how-to-rest/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-dont-know-how-to-rest/My last real vacation was in 2019. Here is how that happened, and what changes when you put rest into the calendar first and only then fill in the working days.Sun, 10 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-main-principle-of-our-family/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/the-main-principle-of-our-family/"In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things love." How that principle works in our family, even though my wife and I are very different.Sat, 09 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/types-of-family-budget/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/types-of-family-budget/The synchronised budget, the four-account system and the "drawer" — three working models of a shared family budget, and the one my wife and I use.Fri, 08 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-shared-budget/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/a-shared-budget/Want to know whether a family is happy? Ask how many budgets it has. Separate finances all but guarantee that a strong emotional bond will never form.Thu, 07 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-things-i-remember-during-a-fight/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/three-things-i-remember-during-a-fight/Three things I keep in mind during an argument with my wife, and why the first to apologize isn't the one who's wrong but the one who values the relationship.Wed, 06 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-nastya-and-i-resolve-conflicts/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/how-nastya-and-i-resolve-conflicts/Nastya and I only talk through disagreements in the green state. If I feel myself sliding into yellow or red, I take a break. Here is why it works.Tue, 05 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-feelings-and-love-fade/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/why-feelings-and-love-fade/Five reasons couples grow cold toward each other, and why marriage is an empty box: you only get out of it what you put into it yourself.Mon, 04 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTrelationshipshttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-are-90-percent-a-production-company/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/we-are-90-percent-a-production-company/Become a content production company first, and only then deal with your product or service. A year and a half ago I believed that idea — here's what came of it.Sun, 03 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/decision-that-changed-my-life/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/decision-that-changed-my-life/How I shut everything down in Nova Kakhovka in 2017 and moved to Kyiv. The story of how one decision to attend a conference changed my whole course.Fri, 01 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fill-your-life-with-things-you-love/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/fill-your-life-with-things-you-love/We get so focused on the next achievement that we forget the small things that bring joy right now. Without them, apathy shows up sooner or later.Fri, 01 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/november-2023-results/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/november-2023-results/After a long pause I am bringing this series back: the best book of the month, films, a skill, a hypothesis, a habit and the main insight of November 2023.Thu, 30 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/morning-routine-and-the-authors-hour/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/morning-routine-and-the-authors-hour/What gives me energy for the whole day: eight habits before I touch my phone, plus a separate author's hour when my head is at its freshest.Wed, 29 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-am-a-teacher/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-am-a-teacher/I am 32, and I can say clearly where I feel my purpose lies. On the calling of a teacher, and why I consider stupidity the greatest trouble of our society.Tue, 28 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-topics-for-my-blog/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/3-topics-for-my-blog/Growth, relationships, wealth — the three areas I'm going to write about. And the order isn't accidental: they're like three floors of one house.Mon, 27 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-it-realistic-to-publish-every-day/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/is-it-realistic-to-publish-every-day/A year and a half ago I started posting video every day, and it changed everything. Now I want to move the same habit over to writing — and see what happens.Sun, 26 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-decided-to-start-a-mastermind/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-decided-to-start-a-mastermind/For years I wanted to gather a group of strong entrepreneurs for strategy sessions. Here is why it matters, who belongs at the table and how our meetings run.Sat, 25 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTwealthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/not-a-single-day-without-a-line/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/not-a-single-day-without-a-line/Seven habits are already locked in through a tracker. The eighth is writing at least one line a day. Why a tiny minimum beats a promise to write a lot.Fri, 24 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growthhttps://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-havent-written-anything-in-a-long-time/https://dmitriyostapenko.com/en/blog/i-havent-written-anything-in-a-long-time/For a year and a half my focus was on video. The team has grown, my attention is free again — and I'm coming back to text. The four directions I'm starting with.Thu, 23 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMTpersonal-growth