We set long-term goals for 5 or 10 years ahead, but in reality we often just live the same single year ten times in a row. Why this happens — and what to do about it.
“Why do we keep making the same mistakes?”
A long time ago I heard this line in the film Cloud Atlas, and somehow it stuck in my memory.
Thinking about that question, I started noticing that I really do often do things that hurt me. And there’s no external force pushing me to do them.
It’s just that certain mental routes have already formed in my brain, and it’s easier for it to stick to familiar models of thinking and behaviour. The result is clear and predictable.
When I started getting interested in how our brain is wired and how exactly we make decisions, I had many fascinating discoveries.
For example, we set ourselves long-term goals for 5 or 10 years. We plan to gradually move toward them month by month. We think we’re developing and moving forward.
But reality often shows that we’re actually standing still — or worse, rolling backward.
Why does this happen? Because over those next 10 years we don’t change anything fundamental. We simply live one ordinary year, 10 times in a row:
- We build relationships with our loved ones the same way we always have
- We earn money our usual way and spend it all
- We eat the same food in the same amounts
- We scroll the same phone feed, watching other people’s lives
- In the evenings we watch actors making millions in films while we don’t
- We keep believing that one day we’ll book a therapy session, see a nutritionist, get a gym membership, start saving, learn English, and generally change our lives
But for now we can return to the familiar daily routine and deal with the current issues. Which are always there and never end. Because problems don’t generally have a habit of disappearing from our lives.
We do 99% of the same things every single day — and somehow expect our life to be different over time.
But why should it change?
The way we are now is the way our future will be.
And if we’re not radically changing anything right now, it means we’re actually fine with the current state of things and content with everything.
Of course, if asked, we’ll say all the right words about dozens of things we want to change and don’t like. But in practice we’re not really ready to change much, because we’re satisfied with how things are.
When I understood this and stopped fooling myself, real changes began in my life. I started studying the areas I wanted to change.
It turned out that none of it is difficult — if you genuinely want to rebuild your life for the better.
If you also feel that inner hunger for change inside you — perhaps studying at our school will be exactly that turning point that starts real changes in many areas of your life.