Never, under any circumstances, work things out with your partner while you're in the yellow or red state. One of the most important techniques there is.
How do you stop fighting with the person you love?
Of all the various techniques and approaches that can meaningfully improve a couple’s relationship, I consider this one of the most important.
A person can be in three different states: green, yellow, or red.
The essence of the principle is this: NEVER, under any circumstances, work things out with the person you love while you’re in the yellow or red state.
If you learn to discuss the open questions and problems between you only in the green state, there will be no rows and no fights between you.
I’ve been using this approach in my own family for years now, and I’ve watched it work for hundreds of my clients.
It’s a principle that never fails. If you master it, your relationship can get a second wind — and over time reach an entirely new level of depth and mutual understanding.