Recommended by Dmitriy Ostapenko

Books on
relationships

The books I recommend to clients and read myself. Every one of them tested by practice and by real stories of real people.

RelationshipsPersonal GrowthBusiness & Finance
Cover of the book “The 5 Love Languages”
Gary Chapman 1992

«The 5 Love Languages»

One of the best-selling books on relationships of the last 30 years. Chapman identifies five ways people give and receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

Why it is worth reading

  • Explains why partners can genuinely love each other yet not feel that love — they are simply “speaking” different languages.
  • Helps you identify your own primary love language and your partner's, so you stop guessing what the other person needs.
  • Practical exercises after every chapter: understanding turns into action straight away.
  • Works both for couples in crisis and for those who want to deepen an already good relationship.
Cover of the book “Love & Respect”
Emerson Eggerichs 2004

«Love & Respect»

The book uncovers a fundamental difference between what men and women need in a relationship: a woman needs love, a man needs respect. When that balance breaks, the couple falls into the “crazy cycle” of conflict.

Why it is worth reading

  • Gives one key insight: most fights in a couple are not about the topic of the argument but about unmet basic needs.
  • Explains male psychology in plain language — for women this is a genuine revelation.
  • Shows how to step out of the “crazy cycle” of mutual blame through concrete steps.
  • Written with respect for both partners — no accusations, no tilt to either side.
Cover of the book “His Needs, Her Needs”
Willard F. Harley Jr. 1986

«His Needs, Her Needs»

Psychologist Willard Harley describes ten basic emotional needs that men and women bring into a marriage — and why leaving them unmet is the main cause of affairs and divorce.

Why it is worth reading

  • A concrete list of needs — not an abstraction, but a clear tool for a conversation with your partner.
  • Explains the mechanism by which people leave a relationship emotionally long before the actual break-up.
  • A practical approach: how to build the “love bank” by topping up your partner's account daily with what they actually need.
  • One of the few books equally useful for a man and for a woman to read.
Cover of the book “Sex Begins in the Kitchen”
Kevin Leman 1981

«Sex Begins in the Kitchen»

Kevin Leman, one of the best-known Christian psychologists, argues that intimacy in a marriage begins long before the bedroom. A book about how everyday attention, respect and teamwork in a couple create the ground for deep physical closeness.

Why it is worth reading

  • Destroys the myth that sexual problems in a marriage are a separate topic. They are always a reflection of the overall state of the relationship.
  • Written with humour and warmth — an easy read carrying serious thoughts.
  • Helps men understand what a woman needs in order to want closeness.
  • Practical advice you can apply today — without lengthy theory.
Cover of the book “The Meaning of Marriage”
Timothy Keller 2011

«The Meaning of Marriage»

Pastor and theologian Timothy Keller wrote this book together with his wife Kathy. It dismantles romantic illusions about marriage and offers something bigger: a realistic and deep view of what a true union of two people actually is.

Why it is worth reading

  • Says honestly that marriage is work, not permanent happiness — and that this is exactly why it can be a source of deep joy.
  • One of the few authors who explains commitment and faithfulness not as a restriction but as the foundation of freedom in a relationship.
  • Helps you see the difference between falling in love and loving — and why the second matters more.
  • Co-written with his wife: the book carries two voices, male and female, which makes it especially valuable for couples.
Cover of the book “Family from A to Z”
Filipp Savochka 2020

«Family from A to Z»

Ukrainian author and family counsellor Filipp Savochka wrote a practical guide to building a healthy family — from the first steps in a relationship to raising children and organising the household finances.

Why it is worth reading

  • Written by a contemporary from our own part of the world — the cultural context is close and familiar.
  • Covers the whole span of family life in one book: the relationship, the household, children, money, crises.
  • Practical tools and concrete scripts for conversations you can use right away.
  • A good starting point for couples who are only beginning a life together and want to lay the right foundation.

Books are the start.
A consultation is the breakthrough.

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