Flowers you thought of yourself and flowers brought after 18 requests and 3 arguments carry completely different weight. Nobody wants to be the one always asking.
Initiative in a relationship matters enormously.
I often tell my clients that in a relationship it’s important to act on your own — frequently without being asked by the person you love.
If a man works out for himself to send his woman money without her having to remind him, the emotional weight of that act is dozens of times higher than when she has to ask several times.
Flowers bought on your own initiative carry a completely different weight in a woman’s eyes than the ones brought after 18 requests and 3 arguments about the lack of attention and romance in the relationship.
If a wife admires her husband on her own and tells him words of gratitude, the man will want to do even more for her.
Physical intimacy that a woman initiated herself means far more to a man than intimacy that follows four rounds of hinting.
It works this way in everything. When we take care of the person we love and do the things that make them happy on our own initiative, it creates positive momentum and our relationship grows.
When something only happens under pressure and against serious resistance, that kind of relationship won’t last long.
Nobody wants to be the one who is always asking. It’s humiliating, and it becomes very hard to respect a person who forces you into that role.
So it’s worth doing these things on our own:
- Saying words of support and giving compliments
- Offering help
- Arranging romantic surprises
- Initiating intimacy with your wife or husband
- Giving gifts
- Asking your partner out on dates (even if you’ve been married 15 years)
- Hugging and kissing the person you love throughout the day
When we take the initiative, we show that our partner is important and significant to us.
And it becomes very easy and logical for our other half to act the same way towards us. The result is two people taking care of each other — and that’s what a happy relationship is made of.
Do you value initiative from the person you love? Has a relationship of yours ever ended because the other side never stepped up?
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