A rule from the family charter Nastya and I wrote before the wedding: 999 situations out of 1000 aren't worth a fight — if you take the crown off your head.
Before Nastya and I got married, we drew up a few rules for our future family. A kind of “family charter”.
One of the rules in it goes like this: “999 situations out of 1000 are not a matter of principle.”
It’s a good reminder that life will bring plenty of situations that could become a reason for conflict.
But the overwhelming majority of those reasons are very small, and they really aren’t worth damaging the atmosphere at home.
When Nastya asks me for something that may be inconvenient or unpleasant for me to do, I ask myself: “Is this a matter of principle?”
In 999 cases out of 1000 the answer is no. So it costs me nothing to give way and do what my wife asks. She does the same from her side.
I’ll say straight away that for this principle to work for you, at least one of you has to take the crown off their head.
A big ego and pride will defend fairness. The question will sound inside: “Why me? Let him do it!” — and so on.
But where people defend their small insecurities on principle and take offence constantly, you won’t find happiness.
So if you take the crown off your head and set yourself the goal of making your husband (or wife) happy, most of the reasons for fighting will disappear.
I once heard a wise line: “What difference does it make that you’re right, if your woman is crying?”
Do you agree that 999 situations out of 1000 are not a matter of principle and are not worth the conflict?
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