The principle 80% of women ignore

Why do some men protect and provide while others shut down? Using my own marriage as an example, I explain the principle most women overlook.

In my previous posts I wrote about why male leadership and a woman’s freedom from responsibility in stressful matters lead to a happy relationship.

It seems logical now to look at the other side of it: why some men take a proactive position toward the woman they love, and others don’t.

Ladies, many of you may strongly dislike this text, but I honestly believe this is how it works. I’m writing it so that your families are happy — my goal isn’t simply to point out the mistakes you might be making.

When I published those earlier posts, a lot of women received them with enthusiasm, and some openly wrote that my wife got very lucky to end up with such an “understanding and wise” man.

That’s not quite true. I behave the way I do because Nastya understands something fundamental about relationships. She understands and applies the principle that many women ignore.

It goes like this: “When a woman behaves in a feminine way, a man responds by behaving like a man.”

Nastya works on herself constantly and goes deep in her own development (she was doing this actively long before we met):

She reads all kinds of books on psychology, sexology, emotional intelligence and personal growth. She studies with different psychologists and coaches. Right now, for instance, she’s going through a programme with Yuliya Nechaeva in her private club.

Nastya watches a lot of educational content about relationships with me, and we discuss it regularly.

She gives me complete freedom of will, never interferes rudely in my affairs and never questions my decisions. If she disagrees with something or has doubts, she tells me in the most tactful way possible, without crossing my personal boundaries.

For 100% of our married life she has respected me unconditionally (even when I wasn’t earning and we lived for several months on her savings). She admires me and always speaks well of me. Not once has she shouted at me or made things personal during hard conversations.

When I come home, she always meets me at the door, hugs me, kisses me. Every day she sincerely asks how I’m doing and what’s on my mind. She asks me questions I actually enjoy answering.

When I go into another workaholic phase and disappear into the office from 9 to 10 p.m., she doesn’t nag me, doesn’t complain, doesn’t demand that I work less. She calmly waits for our day off together, and in between she creates her own emotions: goes to the theatre with friends, meets her girlfriends, goes shopping, takes care of our apartment.

When I mention some wish of mine, small or large, she takes it into account and tries to make it happen as far as she can. Whether I asked her to occasionally bring me a cheese quesadilla or suggested we start training together — 99% of the time she meets me halfway.

Nastya knows my love languages and constantly speaks to me in them. Every day we spend 20-30 minutes of quality time together. She also rubs my back and feet almost daily, even though she doesn’t particularly enjoy giving massages.

She strives to give and invest into our relationship more than she demands and asks.

I could keep adding to this list of her wise behaviour, but I think you’ve caught the point.

Now the main question.

If a woman behaves like this, what do you think the chances are that her man will shut down, sit on his phone when he’s home, ignore her needs and requests, and be cold and distant?

From my point of view, if a woman acts this way, then in 99% of cases she’ll meet the same line of behaviour from her man that I try to demonstrate: I want to provide, protect, take care of the woman I love and make her happy.

It’s not that I’m some unique man and the rest aren’t like me. It’s that my wife acts in a way most women don’t.

The moment a woman starts acting wisely in a relationship, her man “somehow” becomes a completely different person. Genuine interest in her appears out of nowhere, a desire to solve her financial questions shows up, he wants to spend time together, he starts protecting and shielding her from outside stress, and male romance materialises from somewhere.

So if you, as a woman, try this line of behaviour with your man, the result may stun you. I see it with my clients. The moment a woman catches this principle, “metamorphoses” begin with her man — ones she likes very much.

And if this is the only post of mine you’ve read and it feels very one-sided to you, please also read what I wrote about the male line of behaviour in my earlier posts.

Do you agree with the idea that when a woman behaves wisely and in a feminine way, she gets wise and masculine behaviour from her man in return?