In life we get what we can agree on. Three books and a few principles that help you learn how to negotiate with other people.
In life we get what we can agree on.
I heard this line six months ago, and the more I think about it, the more I am convinced how accurate it is.
Most of the opportunities in our life walk on two legs. And 90% of the problems in our life walk on two legs as well. Put simply, our communication with other people is what sends our life uphill or downhill.
The logical conclusion is this — if we know how to reach agreements with other people, our life gets better. If we do not, we are left alone with our problems and we lose.
So how do you learn to negotiate?
You can start with three books:
- Dale Carnegie — “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
- Robert Rohm — “Positive Personality Profiles”
- Robert Cialdini — “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion”
We can also learn to look at a situation through the eyes of the person in front of us. If in every conversation we pursue only our own goals, it is no surprise that we act and sound selfish.
The Bible gives us the key: in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.
Every person pursues their own interests first. If we can show how working with us brings someone closer to their own goals and plans, we will not have to convince anyone of anything. They will want to work with us themselves.
The next step is learning to think one step ahead. Let’s say the person you need says “yes”. What then? What is the next step?
In 90% of cases you can prepare these things in advance, so that when the person says “I’m interested”, you calmly open your laptop where the portfolio and the price list are already waiting.
But there is a fundamental reason why so many people live their life on the minimum settings.
Very often we do not get what we want out of life simply because we DO NOT ASK for it and DO NOT KNOCK on closed doors.
The Bible says clearly that the door is opened to everyone who knocks, and everyone who seeks finds. So if we are sure the door is the right one, being persistent will not hurt.
When we ask in situations where everyone else is too shy to ask, we can be surprised by a yes.
And even when we hear “no”, it isn’t always a final no. Sometimes we simply failed to understand the other person’s interest and offered them bad terms.
Often we do not even walk up to the door we need, because we think very poorly of ourselves: “Who am I anyway? Why would they start working with me? She will never go on a date with a guy like me! Nobody is going to listen to a stay-at-home mom with no degree in the field.”
Our low self-esteem can cut off most of the amazing things that could happen in our life if we worked on it and made our self-esteem healthy.
In the next post I will tell you about a few important principles of communicating with people.
Do you feel that you know how to reach agreements with other people? Is your self-esteem a friend of yours, or more of an enemy?
It is rarely a lack of knowledge
Income runs into thinking and habits, not information. In a session we work out what is actually holding you back and what to do about it in the coming weeks.
Talk through your situation
