Life is 10% events and 90% our reaction to them. One question keeps me from handing over my mood for free.
“What is my good mood worth?”
I ask myself this question fairly often.
If scrolling through my social media leaves you with the impression that I live a completely carefree life, let me assure you — that isn’t the case.
There are plenty of reasons in my life to be sad and to suffer too. It’s just that I’ve learned to control my emotions a little, and I work on my emotional intelligence regularly.
What does that look like in practice?
When someone is late to a meeting with me, I can start getting irritated and angry about it — or I can ask myself: “Is this situation big enough to ruin my mood?” Most of the time the answer is “no, not big enough.”
And it’s like that with everything.
When I get hit with an unexpected expense and have to pay more than I planned, I ask myself: “Is this number of hryvnias enough to ruin my day and make me miserable?” Again, most of the time the answer is no.
When someone says something hurtful or phrases something badly at my expense, I ask the same question and hear the same internal “no.”
That’s how I manage to stay in a normal emotional state most of the time, love people, and accept the circumstances I don’t yet know how to change.
And when you’re in a good place, you have a lot of energy — you deal with the challenges and problems in your life much faster and much better. Those results make your inner climate even warmer. The flywheel of positive change starts turning, and you feel progress.
So our life is 10% the events themselves and 90% our reaction to them.
For some people, a friend being 15 minutes late or a shop saying an item is out of stock is enough to ruin the day. Many people can’t be stronger than the thoughts in their own heads.
I believe it’s exactly this ability to control and direct my emotions that helps me move toward my goals and stay happy no matter what.
In my “Emotional Intelligence” course I share many more techniques and practices for working with your state. It’s worth taking if you often feel low and get angry at yourself for your own emotions.
So do you feel you know how to manage your emotions? Is it easy to ruin your mood?