When a Man Drinks and Can't Control Himself

A crisis in the relationship caused by his addiction: drinking, games, pornography. Why a man is usually washing down pain, and what a wife can do about it.

Let’s talk about what to do when the crisis in your relationship comes from his addiction.

It can be an addiction to the phone, to computer games, to pornography, to drugs, to drinking, to gambling and so on. Anything that has become an idol of the heart and has slipped out of control.

Let me say right away that I am not a professional addiction specialist, so the best thing you can do when you face a problem like this is to seek help from a professional.

Millions of people have already walked this path and come out victorious in the battle with addiction. Do not stay one on one with such trouble — call the free psychological support hotline 0 800 50 77 50.

All I can do is point you toward thinking about the reasons such trouble appears in the first place.

A sacred place is never empty

When there is emptiness in a person’s heart, he may try to drown it out with methods like these, and they are lethal. As my pastor says, most of the time a man is not simply drinking vodka — he is washing down some kind of pain.

There is a reason that poisons a person’s life and turns the world grey for him, and that is why the idea of losing himself in a haze of drugs, gambling or pornography starts to look like a good idea to a man.

When our life is normal and happy, we don’t particularly want to spend all day killing monsters in a computer game. We are not eager to lose money on slot machines if our work gives us interesting challenges. Real life is always far more interesting than the virtual world.

When something takes away the joy and the taste of life, a man can start turning to surrogates, to substitutes for joy. At first they are tasty and pleasant, but the reckoning comes later, and the interest on that kind of “loan” turns out to be monstrous. Addiction takes away health, family, work, the people around you, everything…

When a man has a goal, a vision, a mission, then he works with reality instead of running from it. When life is vivid and full of events, addictions simply have no place in it. They are of no interest to a man who gets his dopamine in a natural way.

To get onto that track of wise development, a man can start with his spiritual growth. If God is in first place in a person’s heart, all the other areas of life will gradually fall into order.

So reading the Bible and starting your day with prayer can be a very good idea if you want to put your head and your life in order.

And you, as his woman, can do everything you can to support and encourage his spiritual growth. Of course it will be his own choice, but he can see the example on your side. When a husband is in trouble but knows how hard his wife prays for him, it changes his heart and his whole life. Give it a try!

And how do you fight addictions and temptations in your own life? Are there men with addictions around you? How do you hold on?