Men sort women into two categories, and his behavior gives the category away immediately. Both patterns, plus the principle: you catch what you fish for.
The last three posts were written mostly for married people. Today, a few words for those who aren’t married yet. Let me apologize in advance to anyone this text hits a nerve with. I only want you to stop lying to yourself and to act consciously.
In their heads, men sort women into two different categories:
- A woman for a serious relationship.
- A woman for fun.
If he sees his future wife in you, he’ll introduce you to his family without hesitation, he’ll talk with you about the future, about how the family, the home, everyday life and the budget will work. He’ll treat your problems as his own and offer his help and care.
He’ll post photos with you without a second thought, so that everyone — including other women around him — can see that he has someone he loves.
Through his actions and decisions, he’ll try to make your life better.
If you value yourself and tell him you don’t want to go to bed with him while your relationship still isn’t defined, he’ll respect your choice. He’ll see a person in you, and he’ll enjoy spending time with you even without sex.
The way he treats you will make you feel like you’re at the center of his attention.
But if you’re a woman for fun to him, everything will be the opposite.
He’ll pull you into bed right away. He’ll get upset, angry and manipulative if you don’t want to sleep with him on the second or third date.
He won’t introduce you to his circle or his family.
He won’t post photos or stories, so that the other women he keeps around for fun don’t unfollow him.
He’ll be very cool about your problems and needs, because he understands perfectly well that in three or nine months you won’t be in his life.
He’ll talk a lot about how marriage in the modern world is just a formality and a relic of the last century. How adults can be together perfectly well without any stamps or bureaucracy. How feelings are what matter and legal formalities are pointless.
I think many women have met men like this and know the player’s playbook by heart.
But some women who want marriage and a family keep ignoring the principle “you catch what you fish for” and then wonder why there are no worthy men around them.
Their Instagram is full of photos in swimsuits or in tight gym leggings. On the second date the nudes are already flying into his DMs, and on the third there’s full-blown sex. First and foremost, a woman like that is aiming to seduce a man and “hook” him.
She does everything she can to make him hers as fast as possible.
Whether it’s the fear of being alone that drives this behavior, or the fear of looking old-fashioned that makes her act so available, I don’t know. Either way, a woman’s low self-esteem leads to the player seeing her as a girl for regular sex, or at most for temporary cohabitation if that suits him.
If you agree to be someone’s girl for fun, don’t be surprised that a man with serious intentions gives you a wide berth.
And if you set your own standards and don’t settle for less, the player will simply walk past you looking for someone more naive and more available.
So, dear women, in life we get what we agree to, not what we want.
If you want an intelligent, worthy man beside you, you have to act accordingly.
Continued in The Red Flag Phrase: We Need to Talk.
Articles do not fix relationships
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