Two or three percent of men have accepted how completely they depend on the woman they love. The other 97% find out the day they hear "I'm leaving you."
Is a man’s dependence on his wife a good thing or not?
I should warn you honestly: a lot of people won’t follow what comes next, and some may even find it a bit strange.
If you read carefully all the way through, I think my logic and my arguments will make sense.
I believe the world divides into 2 categories of men:
- Those who have already recognized how completely they depend on the woman they love (about 2-3% of men).
- Those who haven’t, and still put work, achievement, personal ego, hobbies, friends, parents and so on in first place (about 97-98% of men).
And when I write about dependence on the woman you love, I don’t mean psychological codependency. I mean something else entirely.
I mean a man clearly understanding that if he loses his wife, then his work, his personal wants and dreams, his parents, his circle, his kids, his influence, his popularity — none of it will make up for that loss in any way.
Hundreds of men have come to my consultations who only grasped their wife’s real value once she’d already filed for divorce. Up to that point the husband was very invested in himself, his work, his finances, his friends, plus assorted hobbies. He never found time for his wife, and that’s how he lost his family.
When a wife says “I’m leaving you,” the ground disappears under many men and their familiar world collapses. Suddenly nothing and no one else interests him. Now he’s ready to change, to work on himself, to spend less time at the office, even to see a psychologist or a family counselor.
But very often it’s already too late, because his wife has burned out emotionally, and however much effort he puts in now, she considers the marriage over.
At that point a woman simply doesn’t want to save anything. She feels that putting effort into this man is like giving a dead horse adrenaline shots.
That’s when the man’s eyes open and he starts to understand how black and white his world becomes without the woman he loves. All the color drains out, all the sound disappears, and what’s left is dull loneliness and guilt.
That’s exactly the moment he deeply regrets listening to all those internet “experts” who told him a man should put himself first, his work second, and the woman he loves third.
Somehow losing a job or failing at personal goals doesn’t split a life into “before” and “after” — but divorce manages it just fine…
That’s why I say in hundreds of my videos that your wife is the closest and most important person on the planet. That her place in our heart and mind shouldn’t be taken by work, relatives, friends, or even children.
And when a woman feels that kind of attention and regard, being happy and joyful comes easily to her. I’ve yet to meet a single unhappy man with a happy wife.
Maybe the Americans who came up with “happy wife = happy life” understood something after all…
When we love someone that much, of course it’s a risk, and sometimes we get hurt. And if I love someone, then naturally I depend on them — in the good sense of the word.
I can’t be cheerful and happy if my wife feels awful and is crying in the corner of the kitchen. We affect each other. Our state and our mood transfer to each other too. That’s what a relationship is.
We’re not 2 separate islands, we’re 1 family. Everything is shared, and we gradually grow into each other emotionally. That’s a normal process.
The Bible says we’re to leave our parents, cleave to each other, and become one.
So the next time you hear the idea that a man should put himself first, his work second, and his wife only after that — try to find even one happy man among them.
Most people don’t understand this: if I do everything in my power to make the person I love happy next to me, then I’m most likely going to be very happy too.
And when the person I love feels bad with me, then no achievement, goal, success, money, popularity or respect of mine can compensate for that in any way.
That’s why the men who have already recognized and accepted their total dependence on the woman they love have happy families. They treat their woman like a crystal vase — with great care and respect.
The other 97% call them “whipped,” “cucks” (a word I only learned recently), “mama’s boys.” But they think that way exactly until their own wife’s patience runs out. Then the moment arrives, he finds out she’s leaving. And suddenly this man starts seeing everything in a different light.
P.S. An important note. I believe a man is the head of the family and its leader. The main stress and responsibility sit on him. When I write about his dependence on his wife, it doesn’t mean he’s afraid to make decisions, checks everything with her a hundred times, and can’t take a step without her.
I’m talking about a strong man who builds the reality around him the way he wants it. He simply understands who the most beautiful part of that reality is, and who he’s doing it all for.
A successful man means a happy wife.
Complete independence from each other happens between people whose emotional connection was severed long ago and who, frankly, don’t much care about each other anymore.
Do you agree that a man is totally dependent on the woman he loves?