We All Live the Way We Want to Live

You spend years complaining about the pay, the boss and the office — and years driving back to that same office. Behind that self-blame sits plain self-deception.

We all live the way we want to live!

Has it ever happened to you that you tell yourself off for not going to the gym, not getting up earlier, not learning English, not keeping a family budget or not posting content regularly?

You know what to do and how to do it, you know why you need it — and still you don’t do it… You quietly judge yourself for being sloppy and plan to start doing everything properly any day now.

I have good news for you. If you read this text carefully, you will stop telling yourself off. In 99 cases out of 100, that self-judgement is built on very ordinary self-deception.

And the truth always sets you free — and if it doesn’t set you fully free, then it isn’t the whole truth yet.

We all live the way we want to live. When a situation genuinely doesn’t suit us, we change it immediately.

For example:

You go to a job where the pay is tiny, the boss has a very difficult, despotic character, the team is unfriendly, there is endless gossip, and the work itself is constant stress.

A friend asks how you like this job. You answer: “Oh, don’t even start! It’s awful! They don’t pay properly, it’s nothing but tension, the girls in the office pick everyone apart, and the manager is an idiot!”

Yet despite your inner (or outer) outrage, every single day you keep driving to that office and working there on those “awful conditions” which — by your own words — don’t suit you at all.

Now here is the truth, without the self-deception. If you work at a job like that, then YOU AGREE to work there. The moment the pay, the boss, the stress level or the team genuinely stops suiting you, you will start looking for another job right away.

Another example. You look at yourself in the mirror and don’t see the body you would like. You tell yourself off for not exercising, not eating properly and not taking care of yourself.

In reality, your body and your weight SUIT YOU. The moment they don’t, you will start taking care of yourself immediately. Even if you feel self-conscious about your looks right now but aren’t actively doing anything about it, that means your current way of living is more pleasant and closer to you than having a lean body. Eating the way you want and not going to the gym matters more to you than seeing 10 kg less on the scales.

If you “can’t” get up early with an alarm, that means you love sleep more than the effect of an early start and a productive morning.

It is all very simple. When we want something, we do it. If we don’t do it, then most likely we don’t truly want it. So every time we tell ourselves off for not living the life we supposedly should be living, we are simply lying to ourselves. It is self-deception.

Our life corresponds exactly to what suits us and what we are fine with. In life we get not what we want, but what we agree to. And in that sense, we all live the way we want to live.

P.S. I am not talking here about someone in intensive care with a serious diagnosis, or a person in prison. Obviously there are external circumstances that limit our ability to build life the way we want. But if you are free, healthy and in charge of your own time, then your life looks the way you want it to.

Do you agree with this idea?