We decide what matters in our own life. The same sharp remark can become a burden for years — or be forgotten in fifteen minutes.
We are the ones who assign meaning to the events and the words in our life.
People often send me questions like “Dima, how do I forgive my man? He said this and did that…”
Sometimes they write about other people who hurt them, offended them, betrayed them, treated them unfairly.
All I try to do is explain one important principle — we ourselves control what we give meaning to and what we don’t. It is entirely within our power.
For one person a sharp remark from a mother-in-law is a reason to take offence, shut down, pull away and carry that weight of unforgiveness for years. Another person will simply think she was in a bad mood and forget about it in fifteen minutes.
We decide how seriously we take any given words. We define how important the events in our life are.
So if we want to live a happy and harmonious life, it is worth giving meaning only to the things that truly matter, and staying calm about everything else.
People write all kinds of unpleasant things about me online, but I don’t give those comments importance and I calmly keep moving forward.
Our inner peace is worth far more than somebody else’s bad mood.
Want to go deeper?
Reading helps, but what changes a life is specific steps, not reading. Fifty minutes of conversation is usually enough to see which steps are yours.
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