When we swallow negative emotions instead of letting them out properly, a 'graveyard of unprocessed emotions' forms inside us and slowly poisons our life.
One of the most common reasons couples fight is that we don’t know how to manage negative emotions.
Because we don’t know how to process negative emotions in an organic, safe way, a volcano of irritation and resentment often builds up inside us.
Its eventual eruption is often directed at our family and loved ones. Sometimes completely undeserved. Sometimes “deserved,” but that doesn’t make the damage to the family any smaller.
Learning to handle your own emotions is one of the fastest ways to take control of your life and improve the quality of your relationships with other people.
Where negativity comes from
Negativity comes into our lives from everywhere: conflicts with a loved one, news on Telegram, other drivers on the road, work stress, disobedient kids, exhaustion from daily chores, and many other factors.
When we swallow negative emotions and don’t let them out properly, a “graveyard of unprocessed emotions” forms inside us, which gradually starts to poison our entire life.
When that graveyard grows too large, a person subconsciously starts trying to numb the pain with external stimulants and crutches. Some start drinking, some turn to gambling, some get hooked on pornography. There are many destructive forms of behavior. But this only makes things worse.
How to process emotions the right way
The way out is to learn to handle your negative states organically. In practice, that means learning not to accumulate and swallow negativity, but to process and release it — giving it an outlet that’s “safe” for the people around you.
To do that, first and foremost we need our emotional intelligence. It’s what determines whether emotions take over, or whether we manage to keep our critical thinking during difficult periods.
It’s emotional intelligence that determines how long we stay on a low or “negative” wave, and how quickly we move on to positive emotions and start seeing the situation from a different angle.