We don't live the life we want. We live the life we're focused on — and attention is something you can train.
We don’t live the life we want.
We live the life we’re focused on.
If I asked you to find 10 terrible things in your life, you’d handle that task perfectly well.
Just the same, if I asked you to find 10 wonderful things in your life, you’d find them just as easily.
Selective attention
Our attention and our perception of events are highly selective. We notice the things we choose to notice.
People with strong emotional intelligence know how to consciously direct their attention toward the things and emotions that help them and that are constructive.
Those who don’t develop their emotional intelligence more often fall into a whirlpool of negative emotions and self-criticism.
By some estimates, about 86% of our inner dialogue is negative. In other words, we criticize ourselves most of the time. No wonder we usually end up feeling pretty lousy.
80% of the result
I believe that 80% of my life results are a consequence of developing my emotional intelligence. It helps in building a romantic relationship with my wife, in my work, and in dealing with other people.
Because ultimately, it’s our focus of attention that determines exactly what kind of life we live.