We finally got my father's teeth done. And I was reminded again: even when you can improve a loved one's life, they may not want the same thing you do.
A goal I’d carried for a very long time finally came true.
We managed to get my father’s upper teeth replaced. The lower row is still ahead of us, but a bit later.
My dad has a great many good qualities. He’s loyal, hard-working, decent, intelligent. But looking after his own health, unfortunately, isn’t his strong suit.
Like a lot of Ukrainian pensioners, he’ll put off anything that isn’t grabbing him by the throat right this second.
I’d been suggesting he deal with his teeth for years, and he stubbornly refused until the situation became genuinely critical for him.
But there’s a slice of ham in every mess. Now he has his upper teeth, and the quality of his life is going to improve a great deal.
I’d also love to renovate my parents’ apartment, but that mountain I still can’t budge. For now we get by with local improvements — an air conditioner, a backup power system for the apartment, other household appliances.
Sometimes it happens that even when you have the means to significantly improve the lives of the people close to you, you can’t, because they simply don’t want it as much as you do.
And that’s fine. Everyone has the free will to live their life the way they want.
It matters to respect a person’s own choice and not to cross their personal boundaries, even when you badly want to do good to them whether they like it or not.
Our parents gave us life. I believe that taking care of them in old age is a genuinely important task and mission for us. But it’s just as important not to impose your own idea of life on them and not to slip into the role of rescuer.
My dad has moved a little closer to a Hollywood smile in his later years :)