Everything we do either drains our energy or restores it. I break down both lists and explain why losing that balance leads straight into apathy.
How do you restore your energy?
I often tell my clients that there are two kinds of activities: the ones that drain your energy and the ones that give it back.
Among the things that lower our energy level, I’d list:
- Any stressful task
- Scrolling social media
- Conflicts and difficult conversations with people close to us
- Work or business
- Sport (it can both give energy and take it away)
- Household tasks and obligations
- Growth and learning (even when we read a book or watch a course, our brain is working and burning a lot of energy)
- Overthinking, any dark thoughts, fears and emotional instability
You can extend this list with the things that drain you. Everyone’s list is different.
Among the things that can restore us, I’d list:
- Happy time with people close to you
- Sleep
- Sex
- Any kind of rest where you disconnect from current problems and tasks and sit inside a “black box”
- Pets
- Watching a good film or series (for some people it’s a strain, for others a joy)
- Time with friends
- Quiet time spent in nature
- Massages and other treatments where we help the body recover
- A favorite hobby
When people come to me for mentoring (that’s long-term one-on-one work), at a certain stage — usually the second or third month — we make lists of the things that are actually present in the client’s life.
Most often there’s a heavy skew toward the things that drain energy. We build a plan and introduce habits to raise the percentage of energy-giving activities.
Personally, I believe that if you don’t find this balance, it’s fairly easy to burn out and slide into apathy.
One of my favorite quotes goes like this: “One person can lead a horse to water, but a hundred people can’t make it drink.” When we work ourselves into the ground, we stop wanting anything at all.
From what I’ve observed, most people don’t restore their energy not because it’s expensive, or because they lack the time or the right conditions. People carry an inner ban on joy, and they limit any activity that brings them pleasure themselves.
Many people have told me they can’t allow themselves to live normally while there’s a war in the country and so much pain and suffering. I understand that, and I’ve often caught myself feeling the same way. But I also understand that if we want to run this marathon, we simply need the strength for it.
We can give other people only what we have. If we have no resources, we can’t help anyone. That’s why on planes they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then on the person next to you.
So in my own life I schedule the things that bring me joy and give me a surge of fresh strength right into my calendar.
And how do you restore your energy? How do you deal with burnout and apathy? Do you carry an inner ban on joy?